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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

#15247228
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36432) - you deserved it (3333)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

#15193214
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10123) - you deserved it (39319)

On 03/04/2011 at 1:07am - work - by st00pid (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML

#15067918
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you deserved it (6947)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by Clare (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7263) - you deserved it (96615)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15364) - you deserved it (58793)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that FedEx delivered my $700 package to the wrong person. The person who signed for it didn't even spell my name right. FML

#14877775
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30712) - you deserved it (2241)

On 02/07/2011 at 1:52am - money - by bob - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML

#14813495
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25678) - you deserved it (2701)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by alephnull (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I accidentally dropped my engagement ring down a sewer. To my surprise, the sewer water was frozen and my ring sat on top. During my efforts to retrieve it, I had to watch as the ice slowly melted due to the warm day. The ring sank further and further until it was completely gone. FML

#14709576
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34523) - you deserved it (6041)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:08pm - misc - by CLH (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

#14692086
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (8090)

On 01/23/2011 at 10:41pm - health - by Sostupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took the motherboard out of my computer so I could put more RAM and a new video card in. While I was in the bathroom my mom threw it all out because it 'looked like garbage'. FML

#14665828
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (3717)

On 01/21/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by computerguy (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML

#14532580
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5828) - you deserved it (28291)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:04pm - misc - by brandon - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

#14531234
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (3332)

On 01/10/2011 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML

#14356906
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30445) - you deserved it (9087)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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