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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML

#14532580
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5353) - you deserved it (27071)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:04pm - misc - by brandon - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

#14531234
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18570) - you deserved it (2938)

On 01/10/2011 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML

#14356906
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26809) - you deserved it (8387)

On 12/27/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

#14305134
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21476) - you deserved it (7082)

On 12/23/2010 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

#14297992
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36173) - you deserved it (3476)

On 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by screwed (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

#14244528
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22517) - you deserved it (4621)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:32am - love - by unattractive (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94236) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

 Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

#14092171
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (3537)

On 12/05/2010 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a birthday card from my parents. It was my sister's from earlier in the year. They scratched out her name and wrote mine underneath. FML

#14086512
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (2036)

On 12/04/2010 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17695) - you deserved it (7216)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

#13854165
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (5095)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:17pm - love - by kylie (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (2280)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend in the dark, he grabbed onto a fat roll and asked, "Is this your stomach or boob?" I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a back roll. FML

#13741680
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18643) - you deserved it (20521)

On 11/06/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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