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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I went to hand in a resume. The secretary happened to be a girl I liked in high school. When leaving, I shook hands with the employer, waved goodbye to the girl, turned around and walked straight into a glass wall. FML

#16353069
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30592) - you deserved it (5882)

On 05/26/2011 at 2:00am - work - by Fred (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband told me that he's letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother-in-law so much that I'm contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML

#16040726
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41145) - you deserved it (7520)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:41am - misc - by kayt240 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that the black leggings I wear quite often become see-through when I bend over. I have been showing the world my ass as well as my thong for over a month now. FML

#16015656
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10779) - you deserved it (51010)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:39am - misc - by ChrissySoltys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

#15787937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8571) - you deserved it (31287)

On 04/14/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my high school guidance counselor tried to convince me NOT to go to college, mainly because it's been so long since someone from my high school went to college, that she got rid of all the college information she used to have. FML

#15768228
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40395) - you deserved it (3243)

On 04/13/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by CollegeBoy (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw my unemployed 29-year-old son, who still lives with us, reading the work section of the newspaper and prayed that he was looking for a job. He was looking for the comics. FML

#15753911
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30024) - you deserved it (11906)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:19am - kids - by JT (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought myself a brand-new 52" flatscreen. It was only in my house for 2 hours before my toddler had a tantrum, threw a toy right into the screen and wrecked it beyond repair. I paid to have a nice TV for 2 hours. FML

#15739723
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34716) - you deserved it (8784)

On 04/11/2011 at 12:05pm - kids - by ac32 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13749) - you deserved it (69120)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48648) - you deserved it (8010)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (3218)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

#15247228
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36393) - you deserved it (3333)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

#15193214
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (39286)

On 03/04/2011 at 1:07am - work - by st00pid (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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