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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33333) - you deserved it (5243)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

#17620936
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28216) - you deserved it (3451)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm - kids - by bunkbed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

#17540688
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23281) - you deserved it (4063)

On 08/21/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by The captain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

#17529546
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26104) - you deserved it (5766)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML

#17355866
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14070) - you deserved it (28548)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by Alohaporno (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML

#17350517
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33721) - you deserved it (2635)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:45am - money - by bigbill - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

#17294808
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (9727)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the gift my mother had mailed me for my birthday finally arrived. It was a gift card for Starbucks. A gift card that had already been redeemed. FML

#17219052
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28146) - you deserved it (2022)

On 07/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by coffee girl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML

#17187293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29557) - you deserved it (2995)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by anon - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML

#17173696
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41128) - you deserved it (3238)

On 07/19/2011 at 3:40am - intimacy - by ken - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

#17162768
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (3821)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm - health - by deeenalynn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

#17058882
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (12421)

On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41996) - you deserved it (6365)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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