Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4813) - you deserved it (22189)
On 02/21/2010 at 5:01am - love - by hoser - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14512) - you deserved it (2354)
On 02/21/2010 at 3:19am - intimacy - by horny21 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15638) - you deserved it (3085)
On 02/20/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by makeuuuuup (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was washing a stainless steel pot at my kitchen job. Every time I pulled it out of the dishwasher and examined it for dirt, I saw something orange inside it. After 3 run-throughs, I realized it was just my shirts reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4126) - you deserved it (21953)
On 02/16/2010 at 12:23am - work - by 3Airwalk3 (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (3049)
On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (1961)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14111) - you deserved it (3961)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (2412)
On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15155) - you deserved it (5812)
On 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm - health - by fuuuuck (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12826) - you deserved it (6689)
On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - intimacy - by mairelys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22119) - you deserved it (1577)
On 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22613) - you deserved it (1956)
On 01/21/2010 at 8:33am - work - by Bob (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (6153)
On 01/16/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Indiana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 17 June 2013
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