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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

#17540688
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (3912)

On 08/21/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by The captain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

#17529546
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (5431)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML

#17355866
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12345) - you deserved it (26092)

On 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by Alohaporno (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML

#17350517
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31494) - you deserved it (2447)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:45am - money - by bigbill - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML

#17294808
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34203) - you deserved it (9134)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the gift my mother had mailed me for my birthday finally arrived. It was a gift card for Starbucks. A gift card that had already been redeemed. FML

#17219052
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (1850)

On 07/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by coffee girl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML

#17187293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24875) - you deserved it (2642)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by anon - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML

#17173696
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35749) - you deserved it (2815)

On 07/19/2011 at 3:40am - intimacy - by ken - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

#17162768
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23728) - you deserved it (3427)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm - health - by deeenalynn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

#17058882
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (11873)

On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (6208)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

#16957068
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13245) - you deserved it (41459)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he'd resolved all the issues with his ex and is getting back together with her. Normally I could tolerate this if it weren't for the fact that I just moved to a different country to live with him, and turned down a university and a scholarship. FML

#16894296
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (40825)

On 06/28/2011 at 5:53am - love - by Mrs.Slyfox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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