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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML

#18876628
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28321) - you deserved it (6453)

On 01/22/2012 at 1:10am - health - by suckstobefat - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32977) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML

#18742871
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (2662)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by musicislife1337 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

#18701372
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17949) - you deserved it (6828)

On 01/03/2012 at 10:30pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I left to go home for Christmas holidays. I got 3 hours away and realised I forgot the presents. Along with the engagement ring I was going to give to my girlfriend. FML

#18572612
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25403) - you deserved it (12117)

On 12/21/2011 at 6:36pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

#18561191
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21648) - you deserved it (4978)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents woke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

#18482470
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14642) - you deserved it (24970)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27925) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
599 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43515) - you deserved it (11428)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML

Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML

#18180881
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28268) - you deserved it (7141)

On 11/07/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Janice - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I scored the winning goal in my soccer tournament. For the other team. FML

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

#18158885
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (3717)

On 11/04/2011 at 7:25pm - misc - by Ariel_Mariaa - Canada (Alberta)



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