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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I realized the $40 iPhone case I bought to keep my new phone from getting scratched, scratched my iPhone. FML

#19114135
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23254) - you deserved it (5864)

On 02/19/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by LadyGore - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I dropped my bag to run after my two year old who had bolted in the parking lot. Once he was in his seat, I got in and drove away. I felt two large thumps as I drove over my own iPad, cellphone and wallet. FML

#19093347
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27551) - you deserved it (13237)

On 02/16/2012 at 1:36pm - kids - by ray - Canada (Alberta)

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23074) - you deserved it (2710)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML

#18906599
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7257) - you deserved it (25860)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:54am - health - by lol - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML

#18876628
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (6454)

On 01/22/2012 at 1:10am - health - by suckstobefat - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33002) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML

#18742871
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26706) - you deserved it (2664)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by musicislife1337 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

#18701372
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17965) - you deserved it (6830)

On 01/03/2012 at 10:30pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I left to go home for Christmas holidays. I got 3 hours away and realised I forgot the presents. Along with the engagement ring I was going to give to my girlfriend. FML

#18572612
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25415) - you deserved it (12122)

On 12/21/2011 at 6:36pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

#18561191
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21661) - you deserved it (4978)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents woke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

#18482470
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14652) - you deserved it (24984)

On 12/11/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27936) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
599 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43529) - you deserved it (11430)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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