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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today I woke up naked duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10898) - you deserved it (32781)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, looool who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. mega FML

#19932203
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19351) - you deserved it (6966)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad . We walked past the deodorant aisle . My dad said, ( Need any deodorant? ) I said, ( No thanks . ) He replied, ( That was a hint . ) real FML

#19898795
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9459) - you deserved it (28284)

On 07/06/2012 at 2:52am - misc - by CanadianTwin - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered tat boyfriend doesn't ave time to text me back, but e does ave time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

#19865119
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23174) - you deserved it (4237)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday I Confronted My Daughter About The Various Drug-associated Items I Found In Her Room. She Then Confronted Me About Going In Her Room An Invading Her Privacy, To The Pointhere I Forgot The Main Issue An Apologised To Her. I Just Got Outsmarted By A Teenage Pothead.

#19857408
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10284) - you deserved it (38953)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Taday I learned that when mah girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smoke in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out 4 "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at mah head. FML

#19805199
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (3548)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

2day my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married ( for real ) this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previou engagement!! The reason that one didn't work out in the frst place is because she slept with my fiancé!! FML

#19797334
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44729) - you deserved it (2131)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today,hile looool I was on stage dancing fir a competition dress reheresal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience cummed up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

#19737125
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24133) - you deserved it (2681)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today I figured outhy mah doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movementshile I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's lyk giving birth all over again. FML

#19705256
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21216) - you deserved it (3953)

On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Taday I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." real FML

#19663287
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34489) - you deserved it (4033)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today , I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck , while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

#19661428
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (2851)

On 05/22/2012 at 8:21am - love - by ordinaryday - Canada (Alberta)

Taday I walkd in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener . She's 17 . FML

#19590770
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21227) - you deserved it (5555)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I Went With Boyfriend To The Optometrist Fir Him To Buy Contact Lenses Fir The Frst Time. He Said The Detail Was Much Better Than Glasses. I Excitedly Asked Him If He Could See Freckles Better Now, And After A Long And Disappointed Look At Face, He Said "Nope, Just More Acne." FML

#19580069
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21757) - you deserved it (3325)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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