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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

#19451298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (4209)

On 04/11/2012 at 7:05pm - health - by clinictime - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

#19429984
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29669) - you deserved it (8457)

On 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm - money - by kirsty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12597) - you deserved it (29617)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad told me it would be fine to use the mounting tape he'd bought to place paintings up in my newly painted room. I did, but after deciding I wanted to move a painting and pulling it off the wall, the wall came with it. Back to square one. FML

#19392434
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15687) - you deserved it (5127)

On 04/01/2012 at 11:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML

#19348653
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26660) - you deserved it (3691)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

#19342330
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29399) - you deserved it (2303)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:40am - love - by lil123 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (9451)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

#19286759
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10127) - you deserved it (26688)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:11am - misc - by neveragain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend informed me that she has been sleeping with my boyfriend. She tried to justify it by saying, "He's just going to break up with you anyway." FML

#19248875
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (1996)

On 03/10/2012 at 12:12am - love - by best friend! - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

#19238857
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27408) - you deserved it (2154)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by littlekellilee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

#19223873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you deserved it (3227)

On 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm - animals - by goldfish - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

#19207312
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23724) - you deserved it (7159)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:06am - health - by bannana0zoom - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

#19139199
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (4015)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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