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Yesterday I Confronted My Daughter About The Various Drug-associated Items I Found In Her Room. She Then Confronted Me About Going In Her Room An Invading Her Privacy, To The Pointhere I Forgot The Main Issue An Apologised To Her. I Just Got Outsmarted By A Teenage Pothead.
Taday I learned that when mah girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smoke in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out 4 "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at mah head. FML
2day my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married ( for real ) this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previou engagement!! The reason that one didn't work out in the frst place is because she slept with my fiancé!! FML
Today,hile looool I was on stage dancing fir a competition dress reheresal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience cummed up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML
Taday I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." real FML
Today , I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck , while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML
Today, I Went With Boyfriend To The Optometrist Fir Him To Buy Contact Lenses Fir The Frst Time. He Said The Detail Was Much Better Than Glasses. I Excitedly Asked Him If He Could See Freckles Better Now, And After A Long And Disappointed Look At Face, He Said "Nope, Just More Acne." FML
Friday 27 March 2015