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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML

#19999670
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22282) - you deserved it (5116)

On 08/03/2012 at 1:24am - love - by DeeGirlMon (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, on more than one occasion, I was mistaken for my boyfriend's mother, by his own family. FML

#19998610
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22136) - you deserved it (2127)

On 08/02/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

#19997834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22214) - you deserved it (17026)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:53am - money - by busted - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

#19974193
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (2131)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

#19967913
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8118) - you deserved it (18191)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML

#19961052
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18129) - you deserved it (2039)

On 07/19/2012 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10166) - you deserved it (31531)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19333) - you deserved it (6961)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

#19898795
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9432) - you deserved it (28220)

On 07/06/2012 at 2:52am - misc - by CanadianTwin - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

#19865119
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (4230)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

#19857408
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10255) - you deserved it (38881)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22062) - you deserved it (3543)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44658) - you deserved it (2127)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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