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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML

#19580069
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17281) - you deserved it (2824)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML

#19577517
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16725) - you deserved it (3172)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by leftoutdrunk - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a bubble bath to help me relax. I was more stressed out by the sound of all the bubbles popping than I was to begin with. FML

#19452879
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11320) - you deserved it (6074)

On 04/11/2012 at 10:54pm - misc - by dl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

#19451298
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20492) - you deserved it (3050)

On 04/11/2012 at 7:05pm - health - by clinictime - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

#19429984
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27754) - you deserved it (8139)

On 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm - money - by kirsty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11342) - you deserved it (27706)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad told me it would be fine to use the mounting tape he'd bought to place paintings up in my newly painted room. I did, but after deciding I wanted to move a painting and pulling it off the wall, the wall came with it. Back to square one. FML

#19392434
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13350) - you deserved it (4792)

On 04/01/2012 at 11:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML

#19348653
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20387) - you deserved it (2568)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

#19342330
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (2212)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:40am - love - by lil123 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17231) - you deserved it (8651)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

#19286759
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9345) - you deserved it (24738)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:11am - misc - by neveragain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend informed me that she has been sleeping with my boyfriend. She tried to justify it by saying, "He's just going to break up with you anyway." FML

#19248875
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26556) - you deserved it (1682)

On 03/10/2012 at 12:12am - love - by best friend! - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

#19238857
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (1834)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by littlekellilee - Canada (Alberta)



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