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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I was having a race with a little kid. I let him win to make him feel like a champion. After the race, he turned to me and said, "Maybe if you weren't so fat you would have won." FML

#20081429
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (3884)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:40pm - kids - by tiredeolfatty (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

#20064691
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (2617)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by zed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22346) - you deserved it (2768)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

#20061073
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18633) - you deserved it (2119)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

#20059793
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22499) - you deserved it (3469)

On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm so broke that I hand-washed my socks with a bar of soap that I stole from work. FML

#20058884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (2614)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:27pm - money - by Lauraborealous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23921) - you deserved it (1534)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered why my girlfriend is so obsessed with cutting my nails. She collects my clippings in a jar under her bed. She claims it will keep us together longer. FML

#20049093
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27700) - you deserved it (2147)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:04am - misc - by freaked out - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML

#20048491
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25530) - you deserved it (1716)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:03pm - misc - by never again - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (2471)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML

#20041954
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17302) - you deserved it (2051)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:18am - misc - by AmyLeigh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

#20034373
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21469) - you deserved it (1392)

On 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

#20027750
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26654) - you deserved it (1767)

On 08/18/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by sneaky1324 - Canada (Alberta)



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