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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I had to very clearly explain to my mother, in public, why you cannot get cancer from eating too much ketchup. FML

#19961052
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14738) - you deserved it (1753)

On 07/19/2012 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

#19935617
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9112) - you deserved it (29083)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14049) - you deserved it (5213)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML

#19898795
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8098) - you deserved it (24952)

On 07/06/2012 at 2:52am - misc - by CanadianTwin - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

#19865119
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21623) - you deserved it (4091)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

#19857408
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7494) - you deserved it (26304)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16711) - you deserved it (2517)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (2008)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

#19737125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20137) - you deserved it (2294)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

#19705256
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17598) - you deserved it (3480)

On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (3783)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

#19661428
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19999) - you deserved it (2640)

On 05/22/2012 at 8:21am - love - by ordinaryday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML

#19590770
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19324) - you deserved it (5285)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)



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