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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

#21168163
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43508) - you deserved it (15657)

On 06/09/2014 at 12:28pm - work - by deservedly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37305) - you deserved it (8690)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44143) - you deserved it (6508)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54357) - you deserved it (6703)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (64330)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46946) - you deserved it (6113)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

#21132527
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (5031)

On 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by assgoblins piss me off (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

#21127076
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38713) - you deserved it (4204)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML

#21125786
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43714) - you deserved it (3401)

On 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML

#21125472
120 comments

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42273) - you deserved it (5191)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39810) - you deserved it (4171)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

#21111233
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41340) - you deserved it (4225)

On 04/12/2014 at 3:59pm - kids - by BeatByA9yrold (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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