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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29382) - you deserved it (3165)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21190) - you deserved it (29907)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

#21259489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32802) - you deserved it (3191)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36678) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (25514)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38008) - you deserved it (3355)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34860) - you deserved it (2800)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50256) - you deserved it (5997)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (2913)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41591) - you deserved it (3098)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53001) - you deserved it (4877)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42539) - you deserved it (4399)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53122) - you deserved it (8962)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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