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FMLs submitted from Alberta

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

#21366823
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (2176)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:42pm - work - by dontplaywithmyfeelings - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a few months told me he couldn't stay overnight because his mom would yell at him for not coming home. We're both 30 and I didn't know he still lived at home. FML

#21350278
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (3580)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:42am - love - by thenewgirl29 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29218) - you deserved it (3748)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

#21339220
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (7300)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:45pm - misc - by Help Me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my aunt and uncle came into the restaurant I work at to give me a late Christmas gift. The gift was the $20 tip they left, which got divided amongst all the staff. FML

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

#21313940
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23107) - you deserved it (2063)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:08pm - misc - by blech (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35050) - you deserved it (2083)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, realized I need a new job. This happened when I was seriously considering ways to break my leg so I could stay at home for a day and not have to deal with my boss. FML

#21291344
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29147) - you deserved it (2956)

On 11/03/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by I don't want to be here anymore - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31447) - you deserved it (7812)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33537) - you deserved it (3673)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23575) - you deserved it (32879)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

#21259489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32985) - you deserved it (3214)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36865) - you deserved it (3209)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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