Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Alaska

Today, my car heater finally died. I deliver pizzas. In Alaska. FML

#14235030
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45221) - you deserved it (4102)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

#13350448
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (2885)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

#12231784
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16774) - you deserved it (40484)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by Beaten (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

#9507833
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11755) - you deserved it (38567)

On 03/30/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by GonnaGetFired - United States (Alaska)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (3467)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boss screamed at me for almost an hour because, apparently, I hurt my coworker's feelings when I stopped speaking to her after finding out that she was sleeping with my boyfriend. FML

Today, I woke up to my cell phone alarm buzzing. It wasn't time to wake up yet, so I snoozed it. It buzzed again, this time with "One New Voicemail." I had "snoozed" my nephew. Stationed in Iraq. FML

#7449999
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (13498)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after spending four days having my resume, cover letter, and references proofread and perfected by professionals, I finally submitted it all to the summer internship of my dreams. I received a rejection letter ten minutes later. FML

#7437449
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29140) - you deserved it (2923)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:20pm - work - by PiMan (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

#6383914
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45531) - you deserved it (8280)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34514) - you deserved it (3967)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML

#5462449
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35421) - you deserved it (7139)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:43am - health - by SterlingEnigma (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

#4406209
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51287) - you deserved it (20681)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by ugh.. (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML

#3811943
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44570) - you deserved it (5220)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:05pm - love - by CityGirl (woman) - United States (Alaska)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: