Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Alaska

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60969) - you deserved it (10485)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, after spending 8 months and $11,000 on school, I was denied a job in my chosen career field. They told me they decided to go with someone with more experience. So who got the job? One of my classmates. This is her first job. EVER. FML

#16053406
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (3441)

On 05/05/2011 at 2:54am - misc - by alphafoxy21 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out that my ferret, which my parents had told me ran away a few years ago, was actually given to my cousin while I was at a friend's house. My parents didn't want to deal with him anymore and gave him away for free. FML

#15197451
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25724) - you deserved it (4187)

On 03/04/2011 at 3:42pm - misc - by Person in Alaska with a Ferret - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML

#14681491
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19696) - you deserved it (7629)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by shadowfigure (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

#14665942
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35915) - you deserved it (9382)

On 01/21/2011 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by alaskan1989 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

#14600676
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (7931)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

#14449374
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5843) - you deserved it (38673)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML

#14435611
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8556) - you deserved it (23483)

On 01/02/2011 at 4:36am - misc - by peacechick25 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my car heater finally died. I deliver pizzas. In Alaska. FML

#14235030
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41177) - you deserved it (3790)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

#13350448
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (2607)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

#12231784
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14769) - you deserved it (37076)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by Beaten (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

#9507833
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10043) - you deserved it (35459)

On 03/30/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by GonnaGetFired - United States (Alaska)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19023) - you deserved it (3299)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: