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FMLs submitted from Alaska

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

#14600676
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (7829)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

#14449374
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5801) - you deserved it (38370)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML

#14435611
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8468) - you deserved it (23289)

On 01/02/2011 at 4:36am - misc - by peacechick25 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my car heater finally died. I deliver pizzas. In Alaska. FML

#14235030
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40876) - you deserved it (3766)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

#13350448
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32667) - you deserved it (2593)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. He's been in jail for the last four months. I paid for his very expensive lawyer. FML

#12231784
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14643) - you deserved it (36848)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by Beaten (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

#9507833
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9959) - you deserved it (35246)

On 03/30/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by GonnaGetFired - United States (Alaska)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (3093)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my boss screamed at me for almost an hour because, apparently, I hurt my coworker's feelings when I stopped speaking to her after finding out that she was sleeping with my boyfriend. FML

Today, I woke up to my cell phone alarm buzzing. It wasn't time to wake up yet, so I snoozed it. It buzzed again, this time with "One New Voicemail." I had "snoozed" my nephew. Stationed in Iraq. FML

#7449999
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (12144)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after spending four days having my resume, cover letter, and references proofread and perfected by professionals, I finally submitted it all to the summer internship of my dreams. I received a rejection letter ten minutes later. FML

#7437449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (2616)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:20pm - work - by PiMan (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

#6383914
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (7460)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

#5991495
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (3647)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)



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