Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Alaska

Today, I discovered that there is nothing wrong with our snowblower. I live in Alaska and for the last 10 years I have been shoveling our long steep driveway because I thought the snowblower was broken. Reality? My mother has "never been able to get it out of the shed." FML

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

#17980365
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (3558)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:09am - kids - by TurtleTeacher (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

#17436721
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27957) - you deserved it (6502)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

#17333987
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (2500)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Savannah - United States (Alaska)

Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML

#16911050
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40043) - you deserved it (3489)

On 06/29/2011 at 4:41pm - love - by nolove4me (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35187) - you deserved it (8929)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59203) - you deserved it (10096)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, after spending 8 months and $11,000 on school, I was denied a job in my chosen career field. They told me they decided to go with someone with more experience. So who got the job? One of my classmates. This is her first job. EVER. FML

#16053406
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32159) - you deserved it (3246)

On 05/05/2011 at 2:54am - misc - by alphafoxy21 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out that my ferret, which my parents had told me ran away a few years ago, was actually given to my cousin while I was at a friend's house. My parents didn't want to deal with him anymore and gave him away for free. FML

#15197451
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (4175)

On 03/04/2011 at 3:42pm - misc - by Person in Alaska with a Ferret - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML

#14681491
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19466) - you deserved it (7594)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by shadowfigure (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

#14665942
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33381) - you deserved it (9031)

On 01/21/2011 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by alaskan1989 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I discovered that I've lost thirty pounds since having my second child. However, I still weigh just as much as I did when I was full-term with my first child. FML

#14600676
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (7825)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML

#14449374
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5791) - you deserved it (38338)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: