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FMLs submitted from Alaska

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (4053)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37892) - you deserved it (3191)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23657) - you deserved it (6275)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after rolling my car on the highway, I witnessed several people stop and get out of their cars to take pictures. No one asked if I was okay, and I was the one who had to call 911 for myself. FML

#19988721
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31823) - you deserved it (2252)

On 07/28/2012 at 5:56am - health - by Insomniac (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

#19948855
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7367) - you deserved it (23034)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML

#19376505
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (2854)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:28pm - kids - by MDWilde (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my dad informed me that my prom dress makes me look chubby from the side, gives me "back fat", and that I wouldn't want to go to prom looking like that. I tried to ignore his hurtful comments and tell myself I was beautiful. Then the clasp broke. FML

#19287255
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (10831)

On 03/16/2012 at 3:13am - misc - by Winx - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was opening a present my boyfriend got me for my 21st birthday. What I unwrapped was a Kay jewelers box. Excited, I opened it to find a ring made out of a one dollar bill. FML

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

#18491637
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (2736)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)

Today, I discovered that there is nothing wrong with our snowblower. I live in Alaska and for the last 10 years I have been shoveling our long steep driveway because I thought the snowblower was broken. Reality? My mother has "never been able to get it out of the shed." FML

Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML

#17980365
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27801) - you deserved it (3781)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:09am - kids - by TurtleTeacher (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

#17436721
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (6822)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

#17333987
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37354) - you deserved it (2719)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Savannah - United States (Alaska)



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