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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

#1214508
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78824) - you deserved it (5355)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a call from the Hollister manager yelling at me for not showing up for work that night. I was never informed I got the job. I missed my first day of work. FML

#1214347
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64586) - you deserved it (5308)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13571) - you deserved it (66143)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML

#1086654
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48047) - you deserved it (9394)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by Spec (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

#1080598
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29651) - you deserved it (106077)

On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

#865761
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8682) - you deserved it (102522)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

#303227
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24186) - you deserved it (81475)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

#14117
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10186) - you deserved it (37571)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (3982)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19786) - you deserved it (3312)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML

#3146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8996) - you deserved it (23311)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML

#1345
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9720) - you deserved it (33223)

On 01/16/2009 at 8:36am - intimacy - by fd - United States (Alabama)

Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML

#1122
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9816) - you deserved it (25171)

On 01/14/2009 at 11:03am - love - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)



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