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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for a year finally said she'd go out with me. On the way over to pick her up, she called me and said she'd couldn't go because she was going out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. She asked if she could use the reservations I had made. FML

#1967473
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39953) - you deserved it (2131)

On 05/15/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by FriendsZone (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

#1316192
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11020) - you deserved it (77024)

On 04/25/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

#1214508
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77752) - you deserved it (5285)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a call from the Hollister manager yelling at me for not showing up for work that night. I was never informed I got the job. I missed my first day of work. FML

#1214347
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61835) - you deserved it (5088)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

#1183263
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12902) - you deserved it (64751)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML

#1086654
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46435) - you deserved it (9151)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by Spec (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

#1080598
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (104374)

On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

#865761
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8599) - you deserved it (101736)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

#303227
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23049) - you deserved it (79056)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

#14117
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9751) - you deserved it (36551)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24633) - you deserved it (3888)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18446) - you deserved it (3104)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML

#3146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8904) - you deserved it (23107)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)



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