FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

by Samson / 02/14/2010 at 3:48am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

by RaceCar / 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2010 at 1:12am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

by Moondoggie_ggk69 / 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

by smellyhand / 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (Alabama) / Holidays

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

by disheshateme / 11/18/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

by notsohappyniece / 11/02/2009 at 11:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm and I saw and smelled smoke coming under my door. My second story window wouldn't unlock so I broke it open, threw out as many of my belongings as I could, and jumped. Turns out, the smell and noise were from my roomates cheap vacuum cleaner, not a fire. FML

by smokedetector / 10/31/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

by TrueScotsman / 10/29/2009 at 10:31am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous