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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Taday I lerened explosive diarrhea is real !! I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket !! 10 feet in.!! !! liquid poo started spewing down mah pants legs !! 150 feet to go !! I ran !! It ran !! They watched !! After 15 minutes of cleaning.!! !! I slunk out !! Now.!! !! I have to fine a new market.!! !! maybe a new town !! FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38966) - you deserved it (2964)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee looool mughen the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

#6351303
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22496) - you deserved it (3496)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by disheshateme (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, My Aunt Came Into The World. My 67 Year-old Grandfather Marrid A 24 Year-old Woman Who Just Gave Birth To My New Aunt, Who Is 18 Years Younger Than Me. FML

#6117794
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42613) - you deserved it (3265)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

the fre alarm went off in mah dorm and I saw and smelld smoke coming under mah door . My second story window wouldn't unlock so I broke it open.. . threw out as many of mah belonging as I could.. . and jumpd . Turns out.. . the smell and noise were from mah roomate cheap vacuum cleaner.. . not a fre . FML

Today I Wore Mah Kilt To The University I Attend. Getting Tired Of The Stares Which I Was Recieving I Yelled ( It's Cause Its Too Big To Fit In Mah Pants ). As Soon As The Words Left Mah Mouth A Gust Of Wind Cummed And Blew Mah Kilt Up Around Mah Waist Revealing That Mah Previous Claim Was Untrue. FML

#6053376
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9703) - you deserved it (50686)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)

TODAY, I WAS PLAYING FARMVILLE ALL DAY, AN I WAS REALLY INTO THE GAME. I WAS GETTING PHONE CALLS ALL DAY, BUT I KEPT IGNORING THEM CAUSE I WAS MAKING SO MUCH FARM MONEY. COME TO FIND OUT IT WAS MY SON'S SCHOOL. HE FELL OFF THE JUNGLE GYM AN BROKE HIS ARM. FML

#5970435
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (125989)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had a mental break down. Many things have been going completely wrong in mah life, and I finally decidd to let mah boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring mah heret out, his response was ( I think we were better off as friends. ) FML

#5810614
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (4797)

On 10/13/2009 at 1:01am - love - by Schmolly (woman) - United States (Alabama)

2DAY MY EX SAID "I LOVE YOU!" FOR THE FIRST TIME AT A PARTY IN FRONT OF MY BOYFRIEND. SMUGLY SATISFIED I SAID "WELL YOUR TOO LATE FOR THAT." MY EX LOOKED AT ME WITH IRRITATION AN SAID "I'M TALKING TO HIM!" AN GESTURED TO MY BOYFRIEND. THEY'D BEEN "BEST FRIENDS" SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL. BIG FAT FML

#5751188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14007) - you deserved it (31622)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

2DAY I WAS EATING ICE CREAM AN STRUGGLING TO CHEW A PARTICULARLY HARD CHUNK OF CHOCOLATE. AFTER FINALLY BREAKING IT INTO PIECES, I SPAT IT OUT BECAUSE IT TASTED TERRIBLE. THEN I DISCOVERED THAT I WAS MISSING MY TEMPORARY CROWN. NOW I HAVE NO UPPER MOLAR. FML

#5696976
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27975) - you deserved it (5800)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:43am - health - by Toothless (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in class just taking notes an minding mah own business. The teacher has already called mah parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine an rips them up, saying that she is sick an tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board.

#5408383
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46580) - you deserved it (3054)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)

yesterday I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18171) - you deserved it (45276)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, mah mom found a new favorite game!! I recently broke up with mah boyfriend of a year and still have not been able to fine a job (months after graduating college)!! Due to this stress I cry easily, her game? Seeing how many times a day she can make me boo-hoo!! FML

#5153713
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31906) - you deserved it (8030)

On 09/09/2009 at 6:53pm - misc - by sadchick (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today , I realized I can hold a pencil in mah fat rolls. FML

#4923649
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16438) - you deserved it (57386)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)



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