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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, while trying to pull a nail out of some wood with a crowbar in my theatre class, my girlfriend, who was holding down the wood with her foot, thought it would be funny to move her foot and make me lose my balance. Instead, the crowbar flew up and struck me in the nuts. FML

#8794637
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23563) - you deserved it (2915)

On 03/03/2010 at 6:13am - misc - by ouch... (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

#8621436
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22514) - you deserved it (3878)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:15pm - work - by richgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

#8341933
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25928) - you deserved it (5360)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend was really depressed. I listed the top 50 reasons why I love her. Her response was "thanks for that but seriously, this video on youtube is hilarious." I couldn't cheer her up but apparently a 10 second video of a dog running in circles can. FML

#8238401
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26238) - you deserved it (3135)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Samson (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20468) - you deserved it (18296)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

#8039687
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (5022)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20307) - you deserved it (2357)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

#6985452
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23209) - you deserved it (10487)

On 12/28/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

#6779771
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10571) - you deserved it (29582)

On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML

#6572169
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43004) - you deserved it (2943)

On 12/02/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38789) - you deserved it (2952)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

#6351303
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (3487)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by disheshateme (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42465) - you deserved it (3255)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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