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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

#16666197
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8251) - you deserved it (49046)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31244) - you deserved it (12087)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

#14931650
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34938) - you deserved it (3978)

On 02/11/2011 at 2:04am - health - by Eres (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

#14541152
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

#14330931
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (5171)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:31am - love - by ima nerd - United States (Alabama)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (3125)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, the elderly lady in front of me had forgotten to pay for her milk. In the spirit of the season, I paid for it and wished her happy holidays. She snatched the milk and gave me an ugly look. Then huffed at me before stomping off. FML

#14048564
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (3315)

On 12/01/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by sumerflame07 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

#13754540
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19513) - you deserved it (5915)

On 11/07/2010 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

#13634114
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (6690)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Taylor parsons - United States (Alabama)

Today, finishing up in the shower room, I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Apparently both bathrooms were occupied and my grandmother really had to go... She was bent over in the kitchen peeing into a cup. I may never be able to erase this image. FML

#13496541
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25461) - you deserved it (2241)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML

#13439564
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28282) - you deserved it (9100)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by ahddib - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML

#13420604
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31149) - you deserved it (5885)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by lovelesslonely (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

#13217380
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15060) - you deserved it (29551)

On 09/27/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by youaresodumb - United States (Alabama)



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