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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

#19951439
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6687) - you deserved it (51604)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

#19615153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18321) - you deserved it (2483)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12716) - you deserved it (26553)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29985) - you deserved it (3303)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

#18805630
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (5412)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9546) - you deserved it (57557)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22744) - you deserved it (2624)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

#17731995
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (4483)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by Randy - United States (Alabama)

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML

#16693416
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (3187)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:24am - misc - by RedheadA (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

#16666197
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8236) - you deserved it (48989)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (12077)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

#14931650
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34860) - you deserved it (3974)

On 02/11/2011 at 2:04am - health - by Eres (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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