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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23087) - you deserved it (1651)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (2394)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20635) - you deserved it (2549)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML

#20096710
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (2221)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by IcantDance! - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

#20085651
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16563) - you deserved it (2874)

On 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

#19951439
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6709) - you deserved it (51641)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

#19615153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18408) - you deserved it (2491)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12751) - you deserved it (26622)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30096) - you deserved it (3309)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

#18805630
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23803) - you deserved it (5422)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9572) - you deserved it (57697)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (2628)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)



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