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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41182) - you deserved it (2873)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59869) - you deserved it (13559)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34832) - you deserved it (4620)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46149) - you deserved it (5262)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

#20483291
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26170) - you deserved it (1728)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

#20197436
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (2198)

On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (1568)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24744) - you deserved it (2247)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20076) - you deserved it (2498)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML

#20096710
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (2060)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by IcantDance! - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

#20085651
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15838) - you deserved it (2798)

On 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

#19951439
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6003) - you deserved it (49487)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML



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