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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (3285) - you deserved it (6953)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (8444) - you deserved it (868)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my future mother in law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

#18805630 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (7239) - you deserved it (1359)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (2750) - you deserved it (16729)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (7778) - you deserved it (841)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

#17731995 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (12464) - you deserved it (1427)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by Randy - United States (Alabama)

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML

#16693416 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (968) - you deserved it (1103)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:24am - misc - by RedheadA (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

#16666197 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (6217) - you deserved it (34273)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (8903)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

#14931650 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (27035) - you deserved it (2905)

On 02/11/2011 at 2:04am - health - by Eres (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML

#14541152 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (14295) - you deserved it (1514)

On 01/11/2011 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

#14330931 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (20044) - you deserved it (3793)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:31am - love - by ima nerd - United States (Alabama)

Today, while socialising after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming, "The devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (20278) - you deserved it (2140)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)