Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

#21522183
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22282) - you deserved it (2184)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm - work - by zachhewett - United States (Alabama)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

#21521379
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (5002)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after being in a committed relationship for five years, I just found out that my girlfriend's parents have no idea that we are together. She says she "forgot" to tell them. FML

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

#21514709
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16616) - you deserved it (17660)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm - animals - by parasheeeet (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, at work, my coworker's belongings went missing. Infuriated, she accused me of stealing, because I'm black and "stereotypes don't just make themselves." FML

#21487717
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29197) - you deserved it (2352)

On 11/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Quicky5_ (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML

#21481043
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25854) - you deserved it (2580)

On 10/17/2015 at 9:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

#21459115
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you deserved it (3761)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm - love - by cuckoo (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27250) - you deserved it (2044)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I received my replacement debit card in the mail after losing my previous one. I've already lost my new one. FML

#21447012
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12041) - you deserved it (28272)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:55pm - money - by Again (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40626) - you deserved it (3332)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML

#21417868
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (3495)

On 05/30/2015 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27847) - you deserved it (20296)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom let me know that I'll have to spend my entire tax return on replacing my car brakes. The reason I need new brakes is because almost every single time she uses the car, she floors the gas while the parking brake is still on. FML



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: