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FMLs submitted from Alabama

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

#21293581
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40026) - you deserved it (6464)

On 11/06/2014 at 6:37pm - money - by Anonymou$ (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML

#21289781
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30761) - you deserved it (2870)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32669) - you deserved it (5342)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (52032)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my mom that I got into National Honor Society and Beta Club. Most parents are proud but not her. She told me to get a job and that she was tired of my school shit. FML

#21272922
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30807) - you deserved it (2224)

On 10/07/2014 at 5:10pm - misc - by wtfmom - United States (Alabama)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37353) - you deserved it (5010)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18518) - you deserved it (35169)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I stopped two little boys from spitting over a railing at the piano player two floors below in the department store I work at. Their mom complained to my boss about me. FML

#21231280
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38643) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/06/2014 at 10:22pm - work - by spitstopper - United States (Alabama)

Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML

#21225552
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39573) - you deserved it (2494)

On 07/31/2014 at 3:35am - money - by fedUPwithPEOPLE (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

#21220657
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37528) - you deserved it (4491)

On 07/25/2014 at 10:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML

#21190580
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41730) - you deserved it (7468)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by keelah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

#21189640
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39073) - you deserved it (4375)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35393) - you deserved it (16441)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)



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