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By Big Mistake - / Friday 22 June 2018 19:30 / Canada - Ajax
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Today, I found out I have oral and genital herpes as well as genital warts. I'm a 15-year-old virgin. I don't know how this happened. FML

By FML18 - / Friday 22 June 2018 14:30 / Spain
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Today, I was instructed to make the "Staff Orientation and Training Manual" at work. It's my second day here. FML

By Peanutbutter runner - / Friday 22 June 2018 07:00 / Canada - Edmonton
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Today, I discovered that my ex is still my emergency contact at work. I found this out when I fainted and my work called her. She told them to "pull the plug". FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 20 June 2018 19:30 / Australia
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Today, I came back from my prom and no one was home. I took off my dress, panties, and bra, grabbed the cake I'm not supposed to eat, and went to watch Walking Dead in the living room. My family was there already. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 19 June 2018 23:00 / Canada - Thornhill
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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 19 June 2018 06:00 / South Africa - Johannesburg
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Today, I got slapped by a woman standing in front of me in line after a little kid grabbed her butt. FML

By FFAce - / Saturday 16 June 2018 13:00 / Canada - Toronto
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Today, I brought a guy home for the first time in a while. Everything was going great, and we ended up breaking my bed. To clarify: we didn't have sex, we just broke my bed. FML

By .22 - / Saturday 16 June 2018 04:00 / United Kingdom - Edinburgh
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By Maya - / Friday 15 June 2018 16:00 / Estonia - Tallinn
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By sadCowboysfan - / Wednesday 13 June 2018 19:30 / Canada - Ajax
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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 13 June 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom - Morecambe
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Today, I spent a good 20 minutes cleaning the massive shopfront window of my work outside in the scorching heat, only to watch some kid drag his sweaty, sticky hand all the way along it. FML

By anonymous - / Tuesday 12 June 2018 18:00 / United Kingdom - London
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Today, in front of my 6 brothers, my mother told me I had the smallest penis at birth. FML

By junkjunkie - / Monday 11 June 2018 11:30 / New Zealand - Tauranga
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Today, I gifted my boyfriend a $150 watch on his graduation day, but he was more excited when he got a $2 mug. FML

By julie - / Friday 8 June 2018 20:00 / Romania - Cluj-napoca
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Today, a few idiots were fooling around and they knocked down a porta-potty. The thing is, I was in that porta-potty. FML

By H3lmu1 - / Tuesday 5 June 2018 19:49 / Canada - Vancouver
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By snakes44 - / Sunday 27 May 2018 19:00 / Canada - Yellowknife
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Today, it’s my birthday. My family has spared no expense; cake, balloons, decorations, new outfits... nothing is too much. Oh, it’s not for me. They’re celebrating the Royal Wedding. FML

By RoyalFail - / Friday 25 May 2018 04:02 / United Kingdom - Wallasey
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By seriously - / Thursday 24 May 2018 02:30 / Romania - Bucharest
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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 23 May 2018 19:30 / United Kingdom - London
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Today, my own breast milk has caused my sensitive skin to break out into a rash all over my chest. FML

By Itchy - / Sunday 20 May 2018 18:00 / Algeria
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By Not paid enough - / Tuesday 15 May 2018 00:00 / Canada - Ajax
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By Sleepmonster - / Friday 11 May 2018 03:00 / Australia - Saint Kilda
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Today, I brought my car into the shop because it kept picking up speed on its own and I was panicking. A mere $200 later, it turns out I didn’t put my car mat in right and it was sitting on my gas pedal. FML

By Meganbear - / Wednesday 9 May 2018 09:00 / Canada - Toronto
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By Sweetheart - / Tuesday 8 May 2018 21:00 / Canada - Edmonton
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Today, my boyfriend accused me of ruining his life by getting pregnant. Apparently, the "love of his life" has now left him, and it's all my fault. I thought we were monogamous. FML

By WhatAKeeper - / Wednesday 2 May 2018 15:00 / Denmark
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Today, 30 seconds after waking up and shuffling into the bathroom, the mother of all spiders lost its fight with gravity and fell into my lap while I was peeing. I went from 0-100 wide awake and screaming at 6am. FML

By ScaredShitless - / Tuesday 1 May 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom - Sheffield
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By CatHater - / Friday 27 April 2018 02:30 / Israel - Tel Aviv
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  Today, I was laying naked, face down across our bed when I asked my husband to crack my back. He quickly replied with, "Holy! I never realized that your ass hairs were so long before." FML

By dereksboo44 - / Wednesday 25 April 2018 23:00 / Canada - Brantford
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Today, I checked my e-mail after being sick for over a week to see that I missed an important email. It said I got the job I applied for, if I responded to the message within 48 hours. FML

By sassy666 - / Monday 23 April 2018 10:00 / Canada - Whitehorse
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Today, I woke up to find out that last night I got extremely drunk, dumped my boyfriend of 3 years, bought a female ostrich, named it Frederic, and confessed my undying love for it via YouTube. FML

By Fml4evr - / Sunday 22 April 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom