FML : Money, Your everyday life stories

Today, I told my unemployed boyfriend to pick a town anywhere in the country that he thinks he can find work in. I offered to find myself a job there, find a flat, and pay for rent, bills, and food while he looks. He said I was selfish for wanting him to hurry up. It's been three years. FML

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By Anonymous - / Monday 16 July 2018 19:00 /

Today, I realised just how skewed my reality is when I was pleasantly surprised that teenagers threw eggs at my windows. They usually throw rocks. FML

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By TiredHomeowner - / Monday 16 July 2018 15:00 /

Today, after my bank sent me a new card because the old one had been compromised, I woke up to find that it's already been used to start an Amazon Prime account and order several movies. The card to replace a compromised card has been compromised. FML

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By DebitDebacle - / Sunday 15 July 2018 19:00 /

Today, I got a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see Hamilton. My friend kept complaining and asking very loudly why it was "just about that one guy". We got kicked out. FML

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By Anonymous - / Sunday 15 July 2018 01:30 /

Today, I was telling my wife how being told to drink water all day when you're not even thirsty is "such a scam". Suddenly, I felt an excruciating pain in my abdomen. The ER had to give me IV fluids because I was so constipated from dehydration. The bill was over $2000. FML

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By CantPoop - / Friday 13 July 2018 08:00 / United States - Springdale

Today, my work is doing a legal investigation about whether they can avoid paying me maternity benefit. According to my sleazy boss, "You notified us too late." FML

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By AlphaKappa - / Thursday 12 July 2018 19:00 /

Today, I went to the dentist at 8:30 for a check up. I walked out at 2:00 with a root canal and several thousand dollars in debt. I guess I'm not having a wedding this year or quitting the job I hate. FML

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By Owww - / Tuesday 10 July 2018 19:00 /

Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML

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By Happy Birthday - / Tuesday 10 July 2018 15:00 /

Today, in desperate need of cash to get me by until payday, I decided to pawn one of my nicer possessions, a Coach purse. Today, I learned that counterfeiters are getting a lot better at their profession. Now I have no money AND a fake purse. FML

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By A_W - / Friday 6 July 2018 19:00 /

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

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By Lindso1 - / Friday 6 July 2018 01:30 /

Today, I got a soap that my doctor recommended, because I am allergic to the vast majority of soaps. After driving 45 miles to the only store that sells it and paying $12 for a bottle, I found out I am allergic to it too. FML

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By allergyssuck - / Thursday 5 July 2018 20:30 /

Today, after planning 4 months in advance and spending almost $600 to cover everyone's tickets to the event center, all of my siblings decided to bail on my 30th birthday celebration because driving 3 hours is too much. FML

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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 4 July 2018 19:00 /

Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML

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By aquagoddess - / Tuesday 3 July 2018 19:00 /

Today, I caught a lady attempting to steal a watermelon by putting it in her shirt. When I confronted her, she claimed to be pregnant and threatened to sue me and the store for discriminating against mothers. Nice try, but the watermelon fell out. FML

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By assassinmaster - / Saturday 30 June 2018 15:00 /

Today, I was fired from my new job before my first paycheck for taking 2 days off. I took 2 days off because my father got drunk and totaled my car, leaving me with no transportation, a hospitalized dad, property damage, and no money to pay for it all. FML

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gmanxx Say more :

you think i would lend him my keys knowing he was wasted? he took them. end of story.

By gmanxx - / Friday 29 June 2018 18:34 /

Today, I took an Uber from work to my friend's home. My water bottle, which was in my backpack in the back seat, leaked and left a little water on his fabric seat. I got an $80 "professional cleaning" bill from Uber. FML

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By happydoctor123 - / Thursday 28 June 2018 01:30 /

Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML

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By keep_your_eyes_on_the_sidewalk - / Monday 25 June 2018 15:00 /

Today, I was fired from my job for "lack of work". What that means is that my boss hired his good-for-nothing lazy son, who then got too big of a mortgage, and he had to let me go to pay him a higher salary. FML

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By Anonymous - / Sunday 24 June 2018 20:30 /

World

Canada

Desperate times call for desperate measures!

Today, my new colleagues discovered the videos I did in college when I was short of money and didn't know they would end up online. My friend even asked if I was "the guy who came after 30 seconds and was comforted by the director". I was that guy. FML

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By Big Mistake - / Friday 22 June 2018 19:30 / Canada - Ajax

Today, nearing the start of what I was hoping to be a relaxing week off, my air conditioning system died. A replacement system will be in the $7000 range, just the amount I'd finally saved for my dream vacation. FML

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By Radbaby - / Wednesday 20 June 2018 01:30 /

Worth it.

Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me the only reason he has stayed with me for the last 6 months is because of the Netflix account. FML

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You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 19 June 2018 01:30 /

Today, my new neighbors moved in across the street. Also today, they began to park at the end of my driveway. Not used to a car being there, I backed out and promptly hit it. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

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By Des - / Monday 18 June 2018 15:00 /

Today, my boyfriend tried to be nice and change my oil, but he accidentally emptied all my transmission fluid into the pan. When he poured it back into my car, we realized he never put the cap back on and all my transmission fluid was poured all over the ground. FML

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Emma Eisnor Say more :

Yay my second FML posted! He was trying to do something nice. I wasn’t really that mad. He drove to the store and bought me more transmission fluid so we were fine. He’s a sweetheart, my oil never got changed though haha.

By Emma Eisnor - / Monday 18 June 2018 06:14 /

Today, I accidentally left my Nintendo 3DS at the barbershop, so I rushed back to get it. The 60-year-old barber had destroyed it with a hammer, saying it was a weapon of the devil. I was gone 5 minutes. FML

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You deserved it

By Oh hello there - / Sunday 17 June 2018 01:30 /

World

Estonia

Today, I was having a casual conversation with my sister, who is fifteen. I don't know what's worse: the fact that she told me she went to a website where sugar daddies look for sugar babies, or that she found our biological father on there. FML

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By Maya - / Friday 15 June 2018 16:00 / Estonia - Tallinn

Today, I caught my husband's crazy aunt attempting to steal from my daughter's piggy bank. When I confronted her, she tried to defend herself by saying, "She's 2 months old, she doesn't need the money!" FML

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By Mommabear - / Friday 15 June 2018 01:30 /

Today, I received a letter from my college telling me that my instant tuition was revoked and I’ll have to pay almost twice as much next semester. Yesterday, I received the same letter. I guess they needed to tell me twice. It hurt just as much the 2nd time. FML

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By Ham - / Thursday 14 June 2018 09:00 / United States

Today, for the 2nd time in a month, I've been rear-ended at a stop light. One insurance company refuses to pay because of prior damage from the 1st accident, and the other won't pay because of new damage not caused by their client. I just want my car back. FML

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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 12 June 2018 09:00 / United States - Indianapolis

Today, I phoned my bank. The person wouldn't speak to me about my account as I "sound female" despite being a year 30-old-male. They had to get a supervisor and listen to recordings of past calls to believe me. This isn't the first time I've been mistaken for a girl on the phone. FML

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By MrT - / Monday 11 June 2018 15:00 /

Today, I got a call that my custom order bridesmaid dress is at the apartment complex I just moved out of. They won’t give it to me because I’m no longer a resident, but they just thought I should know. The wedding’s tomorrow. FML

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You deserved it

By budgetboss - / Friday 8 June 2018 18:30 / United States - Granbury

FML

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Nearly

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India

Today, I missed the bus. I ran to the metro station in 45°C heat, slipped on dog shit, and fell face-first onto a staircase, breaking my glasses and front...

Australia

Today, I thought I was finally connecting with my new kitten when she was looking at me closely and letting me pet her. The moment was quickly ruined by...

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Photos

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Spicy

Today, I was sunbathing by my pool, totally naked. After a while I got a boner and decided to jerk off. As I was about to finish, I rolled over to cum...

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Today, I had to awkwardly explain in a conference with HR, management, and my coworkers that the occasional bruises, cuts, welts, and choke marks are from...

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Desperate times call for desperate measures!

Worth it.

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