Today, my brother told me we no longer are to have contact and... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Justkeepsgettingbetter - 23/03/2018 08:55 - United States - Mclean

Today, my brother told me we no longer are to have contact and I'm dead to him. His kids and wife are to have no contact with me any longer either. Why? Because I made a joke to his wife that he will do anything she says. Wish I was making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 4

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

BrotherPhil 35

Tuesday 10 April 2018 1:24

Let me guess: his wife told him to do it?

Comments

BrotherPhil 35

Tuesday 10 April 2018 1:24

Let me guess: his wife told him to do it?

Keywords

Music Cute Love Coworkers Work Gross TMI Racism Customers Kids Scary Geek Gamers Technology Neighbours Miscellaneous Relatable DIY Social Media Ironic Cheating Sex Awkward Insects Animals Health Plumbing Insurance Money Farts

The Top

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 100

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said, "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 703

You deserved it 16 736

The Top

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with something like, "Yay! I want to live with Daddy! He buys better presents!" Their father has literally never bought anything for them, one of the many reasons I'm divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 252

You deserved it 8 733

Today, I realized that my husband's preferred sexual activities not only don't require me to take off my clothes, but go much better for him when I don't. He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him... FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 196

You deserved it 422

Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 019

You deserved it 6 454

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in over a week, because I had been having weird cramps. Afterwards, I was experiencing the worst pain I’ve felt in my entire life, so we went to the ER. Turns out my cramping was from an ovarian cyst, and having sex made it rupture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 529

You deserved it 205

Today, I was at my friend's place with a bunch of people. I saw a pair of panties in his laundry basket, so of course I yelled, "DUDE! YOU GOT LAID!" Turns out he didn't get laid, he was 'experimenting'. He was so mortified, he burst out crying and threw us all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 2 471

Today, I found out the time I'd requested off for a trip in 2 months, that my boss said that I could go on, wasn't fully processed, just in case he decided I couldn't go. He told me the second part after I'd bought no refund tickets for shows for both me and my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 155