Love and Intimacy: Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in...

By Anonymous - 06/08/2018 00:00 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 242

You deserved it 1 108

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Same thing different taste

By lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 326

You deserved it 1 179

Intruder alert!

By Anonymous - 28/07/2023 22:00

Today, in the middle of sex, a bee stung me on the vulva. Definitely not the kind of prick I was expecting to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 162

By BigBangrocksthenight - 03/04/2010 00:31 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 584

You deserved it 10 455

I'm just saying…

By dirty boy - 05/07/2021 11:00

Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 121

By busybee - 10/05/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 744

You deserved it 5 833

By wtf1234 - 03/05/2011 01:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 868

You deserved it 4 393

By hulagirl1217 - 29/05/2010 12:11 - United States

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 569

You deserved it 2 939

The price of sin

By Anonymous - 30/05/2016 16:35 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 794

You deserved it 3 858

Ouchies

By Anonymous - 04/10/2015 23:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 309

You deserved it 1 953

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 539

You deserved it 8 066

RichardPencil 30

Monday 6 August 2018 6:07

If it swells up enough, you might finally be satisfied.

Charlie Given 26

Monday 6 August 2018 9:52

Well I guess it's not a honey stick anymore 😃😋

Comments

Dave_Davington 33

Monday 6 August 2018 6:07

I'll bet he cannot beelieve his bad luck.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 6 August 2018 6:07

If it swells up enough, you might finally be satisfied.

commandpriority 5

Monday 6 August 2018 6:33

That’s a dick move. Next time let him stick it in you beehive. Hehehe

wHSKitty 11

Monday 6 August 2018 6:58

That’s what you get :p

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Monday 6 August 2018 9:06

HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE A BEEHIVE?

Davros 12

Monday 6 August 2018 9:15

The invasion of the African Dick Bee has begun.

Charlie Given 26

Monday 6 August 2018 9:52

Well I guess it's not a honey stick anymore 😃😋

Zekfen 17

Monday 6 August 2018 14:00

“Bees: Natures Penis Pump” a Disney Nature film coming to a theater near you!

TCRII 29

Monday 6 August 2018 14:36

Getting stung is bad enough, but to have Mr. Happy get stung really is an FML for him.

Madrias 36

Monday 6 August 2018 14:51

Ah, the lovebirds found out about the bees the hard way, and got caught misbehaving. Love bites, sure, but it also stings, too.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 130

Today, I found an old Bible in a box of my boyfriend's stuff. I despise religion, so I threw it away. He freaked out when he found out, screaming that it was a "family heirloom". I don't care if vile, hateful trash is an heirloom or not, I'm going to get rid of it. Deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 2 125

The Top

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 088

You deserved it 6 638

Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 780

You deserved it 5 268

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 722

You deserved it 6 140

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 719

You deserved it 5 713

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 213

You deserved it 18 905

Today, I came home to yet another kitten. My girlfriend swore to me this would never happen again. When I reminded her of her promise, she told me the kitten will be staying, and she wants me to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 903

You deserved it 1 135

Same thing different taste

Intruder alert!

I'm just saying…

The price of sin

Ouchies

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