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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML

#896
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9753) - you deserved it (23306)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by Elizabeth - United States (Texas)

Today, I was visiting a national park and went for a swim. Afterwards, I needed to change clothes but the bathrooms were closed. I went off into the woods to change. As soon as I was naked, I heard hooves and sixteen people on horseback rode by. I'd stripped by a horse trail. FML

#1973395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33872) - you deserved it (17278)

On 05/16/2009 at 8:11am - animals - by FishStampede - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (6042)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

#20115908
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:39am - animals - by Patrick - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51453) - you deserved it (18343)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (3196)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, my young son wanted to rent some movie with talking animals in it for us to watch together. I couldn't say no, but talking animal movies freak me out big time, I either start to cry or feel nauseous. Especially ones with dogs. What is wrong with me? FML

#18217794
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (7781)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:37am - animals - by Pk45 (man) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I bought a kitten. I've wanted a cat for years and decided to finally buy one now that I have my own apartment. It turns out I'm allergic to cats. FML

#4570949
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39253) - you deserved it (9484)

On 08/16/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by annabellebyebye (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42312) - you deserved it (15823)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30315) - you deserved it (23948)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33092) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

#5652102
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30985) - you deserved it (5955)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:19pm - animals - by FellingShitty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

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