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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML

#14208425
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (9266)

On 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm - animals - by fufu_mutt (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

#17603044
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14260) - you deserved it (38770)

On 08/28/2011 at 7:29am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML

#20764553
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36066) - you deserved it (7154)

On 07/05/2013 at 1:43am - animals - by damn dog - United States

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

#6246007
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25976) - you deserved it (16926)

On 11/10/2009 at 6:05pm - animals - by mhmohyeah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39831) - you deserved it (4858)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it is my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

#13589791
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32568) - you deserved it (2803)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:08pm - animals - by sambo99 - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (7196)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20715) - you deserved it (5684)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

#15066024
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23405) - you deserved it (2395)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

#2003683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51154) - you deserved it (7878)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

#13624785
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (4115)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:07am - animals - by scratchpost (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to Lidl to buy the cheapest jaffa cakes I could. They cost 35p. When I was eating them later on I put the plastic wrapper onto the side. When I'd finished eating my jaffa cakes I went to pick up the wrapper... The dog had eaten it. Cost me a £150 vet bill. Most expensive jaffas I've ever had. FML

#5361987
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (7621)

On 09/19/2009 at 7:19pm - animals - by 909 (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (3125)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46843) - you deserved it (5196)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

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