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Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML

#19091480
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19882) - you deserved it (4112)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:43am - animals - by parkertownparadise (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54034) - you deserved it (2624)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

#21132092
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40812) - you deserved it (4336)

On 05/06/2014 at 1:42am - animals - by catfriend - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

#19434982
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9608) - you deserved it (31604)

On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27924) - you deserved it (1983)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26272) - you deserved it (5827)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

#14463244
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (5622)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML

#20199342
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

#12087035
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32394) - you deserved it (3260)

On 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm - animals - by Whateversz (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

#19138431
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6525) - you deserved it (38670)

On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

#16350161
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46559) - you deserved it (10390)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm - animals - by nrelavender - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10801) - you deserved it (79494)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML

#20042763
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6673) - you deserved it (23950)

On 08/26/2012 at 2:27pm - animals - by g'day cunt (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

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