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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

#9586084
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (9413)

On 04/02/2010 at 8:31pm - animals - by BigBangrocksthenight (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (2997)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

#14954664
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (3369)

On 02/13/2011 at 3:36am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

#16614936
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29116) - you deserved it (6719)

On 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

#15188844
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12067) - you deserved it (31887)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

#8241571
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (3377)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24986) - you deserved it (5776)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

#20501469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (5420)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

#2741665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40800) - you deserved it (9680)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:09pm - animals - by chris (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44216) - you deserved it (5777)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

#8338090
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19097) - you deserved it (9262)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm - animals - by matiasbarbero - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (12928)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25389) - you deserved it (4184)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

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