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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42565) - you deserved it (5855)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

#18660623
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (5416)

On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8128) - you deserved it (26654)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (6894)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

#3383261
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44963) - you deserved it (7035)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21172) - you deserved it (2244)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

#18932795
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21831) - you deserved it (2122)

On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50190) - you deserved it (8412)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

#20773891
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43659) - you deserved it (13487)

On 07/10/2013 at 4:58am - animals - by kutekittykatz (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML

Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML

#2765186
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34243) - you deserved it (12865)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:13am - animals - by Trapped (woman) - Australia

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

#20748461
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41675) - you deserved it (3736)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

#13801774
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27580) - you deserved it (3044)

On 11/11/2010 at 1:02pm - animals - by jordanss - United States (Texas)

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