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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

#20200046
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30052) - you deserved it (2900)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boss I'm going to quit, after months of being abused, doing meaningless work, and working late every day. I was soon given so many new projects that I didn't even have time to write my resignation letter. FML

#21291231
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (5031)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

#19435990
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17034) - you deserved it (8269)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:22am - animals - by Ew. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30528) - you deserved it (3238)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35447) - you deserved it (16401)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54313) - you deserved it (4214)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

#2709
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21169) - you deserved it (1844)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Rothaar - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

#21237898
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (10002)

On 08/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my girlfriend about my extreme fear of flying roaches. She immediately got upset because she thought, since I'm from the Caribbean, I would be "manlier" and "eat stuff like that for breakfast". FML

#20783934
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42537) - you deserved it (4474)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:41am - misc - by sammy77sam (man) - Saint Kitts and Nevis (Saint George Basseterre)

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18196) - you deserved it (37405)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML

#20974977
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48353) - you deserved it (3784)

On 11/29/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by katerina (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49383) - you deserved it (8228)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

#21220823
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38243) - you deserved it (3771)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:55am - misc - by birthday girl - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (6696)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

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