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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

#13910600
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18883) - you deserved it (11738)

On 11/20/2010 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10232) - you deserved it (37020)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37997) - you deserved it (2801)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56044) - you deserved it (7944)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

#4580514
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55853) - you deserved it (6778)

On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my family was leaving for a weekend trip and was supposed to pick me up on the way down. About an hour before they are supposed to arrive my mom calls to tell me that there's no room left in the car so they won't be stopping to get me. FML

#152487
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42370) - you deserved it (1415)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by leftbehind - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I arrived at my college dorm. To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone. Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone. Guess who now owes the phone company all my money. FML

#20868766
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39453) - you deserved it (9753)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:49am - money - by OweLotsaMoney - United States

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

#238786
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51527) - you deserved it (3632)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (2227)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42915) - you deserved it (9377)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

#20491900
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (2791)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

#18402392
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (4627)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:38am - work - by ohno - United States (Florida)

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

#3929257
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11044) - you deserved it (52354)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19931) - you deserved it (2120)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

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