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Today, my husband fell asleep for two hours at a dinner party. We were the hosts. FML

#11978791
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (5027)

On 07/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by wideawake (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, for my mom's 50th birthday all she wanted was this gold bracelet. It was too much money for me to buy so I bought the same one in silver. Right before I gave it to her, my older sister gave her the gold bracelet which made her cry. When I gave her my present she just said "oh." FML

#1105841
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64512) - you deserved it (5133)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by ohhotdamn (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56831) - you deserved it (12737)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

#20890943
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37636) - you deserved it (9950)

On 09/22/2013 at 12:26am - work - by not_fakingit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

#7433438
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25187) - you deserved it (4430)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:59am - misc - by momof2boys - United States (Ohio)

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36254) - you deserved it (4451) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

#3254274
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44132) - you deserved it (11422)

On 06/26/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by lifesmells - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

#19765819
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (5342)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my little nieces and nephews were about to have a water balloon fight. I was told to take pictures. They hit me. And my $600 camera. FML

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

#18247557
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21092) - you deserved it (7999)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29297) - you deserved it (3616)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

#9158152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (4691)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:15pm - health - by patrick - United States

Today, I learned a valuable lesson: Make sure you learn to swim at a very young age, or else you might end up a in a swimming class with a bunch 3 and 4 year-olds, taught by your crush. FML

#19350578
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24857) - you deserved it (5870)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by stupdude3 (man) - United States

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

#20011651
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26630) - you deserved it (2516)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm - health - by flatfoot - Canada (Ontario)

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