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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32603) - you deserved it (2028)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18687) - you deserved it (64253)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML

#3927246
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57160) - you deserved it (3172)

On 07/21/2009 at 11:19am - health - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML

#19556689
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17650) - you deserved it (2200)

On 05/01/2012 at 1:14am - love - by monkeywrench (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the coffee shop for my usual morning latte before class. When I got my drink, I asked again to make sure it was soy. The barista assured me it was. It wasn't. I'm ridiculously lactose intolerant and just spent six hours throwing up because she was too lazy to correct her mistake. FML

#5564287
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36588) - you deserved it (3013)

On 09/30/2009 at 11:12am - health - by sick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stumbled upon my boyfriend's Facebook. His second Facebook. On which I also stumbled upon his second girlfriend. FML

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

#18452728
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (1969)

On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

#19101039
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22500) - you deserved it (1570)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:43pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (3108)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

#18530892
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29174) - you deserved it (2003)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

#18008479
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13308) - you deserved it (67557)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I learned that shaving while feeling upset is a very bad idea. FML

#19661227
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15497) - you deserved it (5492)

On 05/22/2012 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous - Philippines

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (5681)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML

#17751654
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (1308)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by poop towel - United States (Maryland)

Today, my bank overdrafted my account to pay a bill that isn't due until next month. When I called them, they said they would fix the mistake, but I have to restore the account to zero before they'll give me my money back. So, I have to pay for my own money with the money they won't give me. FML

#6067790
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23518) - you deserved it (1591)

On 10/30/2009 at 6:11am - money - by WTF (man) - United States (Arizona)

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