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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44161) - you deserved it (20944)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

#21083808
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36180) - you deserved it (2989)

On 03/11/2014 at 3:21am - misc - by why me? (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss' way of seeing how stupid you are. FML

#20584939
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (8003)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by Directionally challenged - United States

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32152) - you deserved it (2670)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML

#21338219
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27840) - you deserved it (2182)

On 01/16/2015 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
488 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (50718)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I wandered through the streets of an unfamiliar city, I spotted a cop and darted across the street to ask for assistance. He kindly gave me directions as he wrote me out a citation for jaywalking. FML

#21230350
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (8881)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:46pm - misc - by spekledworf (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

#6089701
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32080) - you deserved it (2685)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

#1101827
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12764) - you deserved it (120096)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML

#19843543
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39148) - you deserved it (2357)

On 06/25/2012 at 4:32am - love - by singlesummer - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14721) - you deserved it (41972)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

#20009878
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19488) - you deserved it (42829)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

#8965755
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34418) - you deserved it (2519)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by Kevin - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41622) - you deserved it (6389)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States

Today, I started my job at a kids summer camp. The first little girl to arrive told me to close my eyes and open my hand because she had a "surprise" for me. Yep, a dead, decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise. FML

#20718832
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44008) - you deserved it (5405)

On 06/11/2013 at 12:39am - kids - by sydneyp3435 - United States (Texas)

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