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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I was at Disneyland with a friend. We were watching the light show, and when Tinkerbell came out, we both started crying. Some guy noticed and called us "fucking pussies". FML

#18862954
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9810) - you deserved it (40460)

On 01/20/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by sharky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

#20112748
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (6982)

On 10/11/2012 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML

#2393913
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43876) - you deserved it (7748)

On 05/29/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19913) - you deserved it (3155)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, I had my first accident in 5 years of driving. I clipped a Ford Fiesta, mirror to mirror. His mirror is totally destroyed. Mine is fine. I was so stressed afterwards that I reversed straight into another car. FML

#20070204
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18599) - you deserved it (7514)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:25pm - money - by Arcam (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

#20632603
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (13430)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

#21071970
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48267) - you deserved it (4454)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML

#19635956
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (7796)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:33am - misc - by kazmatazz (woman) - Oman

Today, I talked to my crush for twenty minutes at Wal-mart. Then I realized I forgot to take off my Weight Watchers meeting nametag. FML

#6242607
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16703) - you deserved it (23098)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

#14608704
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (6801) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

#16418676
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you deserved it (15012)

On 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm - misc - by OopsKid (man) - France

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

#8347033
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (1971)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by blaze (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML

#7086130
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43899) - you deserved it (2379)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:07pm - work - by manksy (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I was at Target buying four coloring books. As I was in line, the woman behind me said that buying coloring books was a good idea to keep my kids occupied. I smiled and said that it would give me a few minutes to relax. I am a 26 year old guy with no kids. The coloring books were for me. FML

#6664600
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15000) - you deserved it (33004)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by 2old4thiscrap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62262) - you deserved it (5026)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

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