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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, at work I got told off by my manager for texting while working. Enraged by this, I trash talked her to the new girl at work. The new girl, a.k.a. my manager's daughter. FML

#3137234
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9474) - you deserved it (66080)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:04am - work - by Don't text and work (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

#17809445
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36899) - you deserved it (5743)

On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, according to daycare, my son is behind in his potty training curriculum because we are not "celebrating his natural bodily functions" enough. He turned 2 a week ago, and he peed on our bed last night because we're trying to meet this demand. FML

#21481731
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (2842)

On 10/19/2015 at 6:15am - kids - by NotThePotty - United States (California)

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

#18417405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31318) - you deserved it (9252)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I deliberately didn't tell my therapist half of what I was going through because I didn't want to depress her. FML

#21153742
111 comments

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36006) - you deserved it (5525)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44856) - you deserved it (2870)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

#6246007
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (17805)

On 11/10/2009 at 6:05pm - animals - by mhmohyeah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (2085)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (5228)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

#21289001
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28002) - you deserved it (2793)

On 10/31/2014 at 10:27am - work - by hardwarekit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48780) - you deserved it (4545)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29686) - you deserved it (5992)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

#19085877
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31960) - you deserved it (2644)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

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