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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19319) - you deserved it (2346)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17907) - you deserved it (2261)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

#20153207
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6673) - you deserved it (12165)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML

#20149436
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16081) - you deserved it (1270)

On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14623) - you deserved it (1694)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6919) - you deserved it (17263)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML

#20132372
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20884) - you deserved it (1680)

On 10/25/2012 at 3:08am - money - by Kallian - Australia

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

#20132044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6450) - you deserved it (23668)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

#20130942
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32194) - you deserved it (1608)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5500) - you deserved it (15165)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8042) - you deserved it (24407)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, I forgot to pay for my train ride for the first time. Today was also the first time I've ever seen transit security checking for people's tickets and kicking offenders off. FML

#20125823
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12857) - you deserved it (3215)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:59pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I purchased a brand new television. Not long after the professional who hung it on my wall left, it came crashing down on my hardwood floor. I'm now left with a busted TV, a tear in my living room wall, and a severely drained bank account. FML

#20125611
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16504) - you deserved it (1602)

On 10/20/2012 at 6:48pm - money - by fuck gangnam style in the anus - United States (California)



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