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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. FML

#1677183
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48283) - you deserved it (14484)

On 05/05/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by airborne (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

#1656841
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (147113) - you deserved it (8457)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

#1652768
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13660) - you deserved it (87280)

On 05/05/2009 at 1:43am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping in an upscale store. As I was changing, I heard one of the snobby saleswomen say to mine "You shouldn't bother. She isn't going to buy anything." Determined to "show her", I purchased everything I'd tried on. It came to around $500. My credit card was declined. FML

#1315447
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11251) - you deserved it (57683)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:49am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML

#1315045
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42552) - you deserved it (13239)

On 04/25/2009 at 7:50am - money - by Nicked (woman) - Israel

Today, I lost my $100 in cash that I had to use to pay my phone bill. As a result, my phone got cut off and I miss an important call for an apartment that I was looking at. When I went to work I heard my boss saying how lucky she was to find $100 in cash. FML

#1206678
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46745) - you deserved it (3948)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ordered take out, and paid with a credit card. The cute cashier gave me the receipt to sign, and under 'tip' I gave a couple of dollars. I realized that I had given too much, crossed it out, and changed it. Unaware she was watching, She then responded, "Did you just lower the tip by $1?" FML

#1106901
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9925) - you deserved it (66994)

On 04/19/2009 at 1:03am - money - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I forgot to take my wallet off the roof of my car and drove away, onto the highway. A man behind me began flashing his lights and waving his arms. I thought he was freaking out because I cut him off. I flipped him off. He was trying to tell me that all my money was flying down the road. FML

#1047617
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6621) - you deserved it (71337)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after two weeks of living on plain pasta, I finally got my paycheck and was excited that I'd get real food, and ride the subway instead of exhausting my malnourished body with the two-hour walk to work. My surname was misspelt on the check; the bank is holding it for ten days. FML

#985016
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71519) - you deserved it (3371)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:48am - money - by A. (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

#914206
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53198) - you deserved it (8169)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML

#913985
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57777) - you deserved it (18257)

On 04/11/2009 at 11:47am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML

#911885
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45366) - you deserved it (4505)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:42am - money - by canabana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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