Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

by busted / 08/02/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, my grandpa told my mom that he needs to rewrite his will soon. I jokingly said that I was going to be stinking rich when he passes away. He retorted that he's never forgiven me for rear-ending his car six years ago, and because of this, I'll never see a penny of his money. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Money

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, my father, who's never played much part in my life, told me how proud he is of me. I choked back tears, and we hugged for the first time in years. Later, I choked back my rage when I saw he'd opened my mail and obviously planned on leeching my new-found SSI money off me. FML

by Natalie / 07/14/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I went to city hall to pay for a parking ticket. After returning to my truck, I found a parking ticket on my window. FML

by journeytotheend / 07/14/2012 at 2:55am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML

by Ashley / 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

by eggmarie / 07/10/2012 at 12:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bought a home at a bargain. It will need 5 grand in repairs to fix plumbing and electric, but it's mine. When I pulled up the listing to show pictures to my friends, there was a new listing that was in the same neighborhood, and a larger, nicer house that is move in ready. Same price. FML

by jenjam / 07/04/2012 at 8:50pm / Money

Today, I found out that the piece of vacant land I purchased for $20,000 is illegal to build a house on, due to acreage restrictions. Thank you, realtor. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML

by stolen-car / 06/25/2012 at 10:55pm / United States (South Carolina) / Money

Today, it's my mother's birthday. She received the ultimate gift from my brother, who told her he had just been accepted into medical school. I bought her scratch-offs. She won a dollar. FML

by bad son / 06/14/2012 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

by ouch / 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I finally bought the expensive but beautifully stylish dress I've been eyeing for ages online. Ten minutes later, I went back to check the shoes the model was wearing so I could coordinate my outfit. The dress had been reduced to half price. FML

by fuzzle003 / 06/13/2012 at 8:47am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Money