FML : Your everyday life stories

Today, I found out I have oral and genital herpes as well as genital warts. I'm a 15-year-old virgin. I don't know how this happened. FML

By Big Mistake - / Friday 22 June 2018 19:30 / Canada - Ajax

World

Spain

By FML18 - / Friday 22 June 2018 14:30 / Spain

World

Today, I was instructed to make the "Staff Orientation and Training Manual" at work. It's my second day here. FML

Today, I discovered that my ex is still my emergency contact at work. I found this out when I fainted and my work called her. She told them to "pull the plug". FML

By Peanutbutter runner - / Friday 22 June 2018 07:00 / Canada - Edmonton

World

Australia

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 20 June 2018 19:30 / Australia

World

Today, I came back from my prom and no one was home. I took off my dress, panties, and bra, grabbed the cake I'm not supposed to eat, and went to watch Walking Dead in the living room. My family was there already. FML

Oops.

Today, I came back from college excited to see my parents and enjoy a nice home-cooked meal, but as I walked in the front door I was greeted by my parents having sex on the kitchen table. They didn't see me so I sneaked out and waited. I had to eat dinner at that table. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 19 June 2018 23:00 / Canada - Thornhill

World

South Africa

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 19 June 2018 06:00 / South Africa - Johannesburg

World

Today, I got slapped by a woman standing in front of me in line after a little kid grabbed her butt. FML

By FFAce - / Saturday 16 June 2018 13:00 / Canada - Toronto

World

Today, I brought a guy home for the first time in a while. Everything was going great, and we ended up breaking my bed. To clarify: we didn't have sex, we just broke my bed. FML

Today, I was having a casual conversation with my sister, who is fifteen. I don't know what's worse: the fact that she told me she went to a website where sugar daddies look for sugar babies, or that she found our biological father on there. FML

By .22 - / Saturday 16 June 2018 04:00 / United Kingdom - Edinburgh

World

Estonia

By Maya - / Friday 15 June 2018 16:00 / Estonia - Tallinn

World

Today, there was a swim competition at my college. During my race, my speedo started slipping. Not wanting to lose for the team, I kept going even after it came off. After my turn, I had to wait on the deck, totally naked, because coaches can’t help the swimmers. FML

By sadCowboysfan - / Wednesday 13 June 2018 19:30 / Canada - Ajax

World

Today, my son had been grinning like a damn fool all day. When I tried to take a bath, I realised why. The idiot put superglue on the inside of my prosthetic leg this morning and I didn’t notice for nearly 15 hours. I can’t get the damn thing off. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 13 June 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom - Morecambe

World

Today, I spent a good 20 minutes cleaning the massive shopfront window of my work outside in the scorching heat, only to watch some kid drag his sweaty, sticky hand all the way along it. FML

Today, in front of my 6 brothers, my mother told me I had the smallest penis at birth. FML

By anonymous - / Tuesday 12 June 2018 18:00 / United Kingdom - London

World

New Zealand

Runt of the Litter

Today, I gifted my boyfriend a $150 watch on his graduation day, but he was more excited when he got a $2 mug. FML

By junkjunkie - / Monday 11 June 2018 11:30 / New Zealand - Tauranga

World

Romania

By julie - / Friday 8 June 2018 20:00 / Romania - Cluj-napoca

World

Today, a few idiots were fooling around and they knocked down a porta-potty. The thing is, I was in that porta-potty. FML

By H3lmu1 - / Tuesday 5 June 2018 19:49 / Canada - Vancouver

World

Today, I let my dog out to go pee before heading to bed. She just stood there and looked at me, so I let her back in and went to sleep. I later woke up to a wet sensation on my back. My dog let out a full bladder all over my bed. FML

Sorry, eh?

By snakes44 - / Sunday 27 May 2018 19:00 / Canada - Yellowknife

World

Today, it’s my birthday. My family has spared no expense; cake, balloons, decorations, new outfits... nothing is too much. Oh, it’s not for me. They’re celebrating the Royal Wedding. FML

Today, my dad told me that he, my stepmother, my siblings, and my grandmother are going to Egypt for a week. A week ago, he told me they didn't have the time or money to visit me in Romania where I'm an exchange student. I've been here almost a year. FML

By RoyalFail - / Friday 25 May 2018 04:02 / United Kingdom - Wallasey

World

Romania

By seriously - / Thursday 24 May 2018 02:30 / Romania - Bucharest

World

Today, after hours of pain due to bad food the night before, I accidentally and silently let rip. My wheelchair-bound aunt panicked and made a dash for the bathroom, thinking her colostomy bag had ripped. I was too embarrassed to admit it was me. FML

Today, my own breast milk has caused my sensitive skin to break out into a rash all over my chest. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 23 May 2018 19:30 / United Kingdom - London

World

Algeria

By Itchy - / Sunday 20 May 2018 18:00 / Algeria

World

Today, while working at Lowe's, I had to deal with a situation in one of the bathroom aisles. Unfortunately, it wasn’t someone sitting on one of the toilets. It was two guys fucking in one of the shower displays. FML

Is home repair supposed to be sexy?

Today, I tried contacting my doctor about the “side effect free" medication and diet he'd prescribed for my health issues. I've been sleeping 14 hours a night with naps in between since starting it. I have a full time course load plus work and I can't stay awake. FML

By Not paid enough - / Tuesday 15 May 2018 00:00 / Canada - Ajax

World

Australia

By Sleepmonster - / Friday 11 May 2018 03:00 / Australia - Saint Kilda

World

Today, I brought my car into the shop because it kept picking up speed on its own and I was panicking. A mere $200 later, it turns out I didn’t put my car mat in right and it was sitting on my gas pedal. FML

By Meganbear - / Wednesday 9 May 2018 09:00 / Canada - Toronto

World

Today, I found a receipt for lingerie purchased by my husband. He hasn't wanted to have sex with me in 15 years. When I confronted him, he calmly told me he wears women's panties and said, "You're making this an issue when you just need to accept it so we can have a good life." FML

Kinky Canadians

Today, my boyfriend accused me of ruining his life by getting pregnant. Apparently, the "love of his life" has now left him, and it's all my fault. I thought we were monogamous. FML

By Sweetheart - / Tuesday 8 May 2018 21:00 / Canada - Edmonton

World

Denmark

By WhatAKeeper - / Wednesday 2 May 2018 15:00 / Denmark

World

Today, 30 seconds after waking up and shuffling into the bathroom, the mother of all spiders lost its fight with gravity and fell into my lap while I was peeing. I went from 0-100 wide awake and screaming at 6am. FML

Today, I tried using a water gun to shoot the noisy cats who always fight near my window. I had it ready along with a bucket of water for quick reloads. I missed on the first try and got the floor wet, slipped, and dropped my phone in the water bucket. FML

By ScaredShitless - / Tuesday 1 May 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom - Sheffield

World

Israel

By CatHater - / Friday 27 April 2018 02:30 / Israel - Tel Aviv

World

Today, I was laying naked, face down across our bed when I asked my husband to crack my back. He quickly replied with, "Holy! I never realized that your ass hairs were so long before." FML

By dereksboo44 - / Wednesday 25 April 2018 23:00 / Canada - Brantford

World

Today, I checked my e-mail after being sick for over a week to see that I missed an important email. It said I got the job I applied for, if I responded to the message within 48 hours. FML

By sassy666 - / Monday 23 April 2018 10:00 / Canada - Whitehorse

World

Today, I woke up to find out that last night I got extremely drunk, dumped my boyfriend of 3 years, bought a female ostrich, named it Frederic, and confessed my undying love for it via YouTube. FML

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It...

By Fml4evr - / Sunday 22 April 2018 00:30 / United Kingdom

FML

The Top

FML: Uncensored

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she...

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend a few years after I slept with his boss and got him fired. He is now a multi-millionaire investor and won't take me back....

Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel...

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Nearly

Today, my 75 year old Father-in law was showing me some online images of his hometown when the safari app suddenly decided to display LARGE thumbnails...

Today, I was doing some extracurricular activities with my hubby. We were positioned in a way that my rear was near his face. Right when things were getting...

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World

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Today, my new colleagues discovered the videos I did in college when I was short of money and didn't know they would end up online. My friend even asked...

Desperate times call for desperate measures!

Spain

Today, I found out I have oral and genital herpes as well as genital warts. I'm a 15-year-old virgin. I don't know how this happened. FML

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Photos

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Spicy

South Africa

Today, I came back from college excited to see my parents and enjoy a nice home-cooked meal, but as I walked in the front door I was greeted by my parents...

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally having some intimate alone time together. When we really started getting into it, he suddenly prematurely jizzed...