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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML

#21432817
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (2417)

On 06/27/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, while watching a family movie, my mother made every effort to make sure I covered my eyes during a kissing scene. I guess it shouldn't be a surprise, since she still forces me to put my phone in her room every night as she makes me go to bed at 8:30 PM. FML

#21432771
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (3270)

On 06/27/2015 at 11:01am - misc - by anonynous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27066) - you deserved it (2048)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (2155)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized I need to get my life together after spilling ramen while taking a bath, again. FML

#21432524
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20794) - you deserved it (6405)

On 06/26/2015 at 8:57pm - misc - by college estudiata (woman) -

Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML

#21432440
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (1506)

On 06/26/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

#21432346
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11990) - you deserved it (36841)

On 06/26/2015 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

#21432333
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25207) - you deserved it (1974)

On 06/26/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Zambia

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

#21432298
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26574) - you deserved it (2464)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Good Parenting? - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

#21432224
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (2441)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by mytoehurts - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my mother after many years. Her hoarding has gotten so bad that now the house is entirely filled with junk and garbage, and she is camping out in the jungle of a backyard, cooking on a cauldron over a fire and shitting in the compost pile, with no working heat or water. FML

#21431843
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26175) - you deserved it (2082)

On 06/25/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by childofcrazy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21431826
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (6200)

On 06/25/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by sweetsixteenyay - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)



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