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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML

#21346702
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (1897)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (4860)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (2646)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

#21346172
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28416) - you deserved it (2121)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm - misc - by John Doe (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML

Today, I fell asleep curling my bangs. I now look like Mrs. Potato head. FML

#21345701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17466) - you deserved it (11206)

On 01/28/2015 at 5:20pm - misc - by WildShortstop13 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was talking to a girl. It was going pretty well until she said, "LOL." What's so bad about that? We weren't texting. FML

#21345280
106 comments

Today, I spent over an hour shovelling the walkway and driveway, snow blowing in my face and down my coat. When I was finally finished, a guy started going through the neighborhood plowing everyone's driveways for them. FML

#21345278
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (2393)

On 01/27/2015 at 8:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28782) - you deserved it (1978)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

#21345047
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24323) - you deserved it (2484)

On 01/27/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by NoTalkAllGame - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (25556)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-workers anus. FML

#21344664
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24041) - you deserved it (2484)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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