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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44352) - you deserved it (4844)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

#21238842
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39563) - you deserved it (4877)

On 08/16/2014 at 8:10am - misc - by Jenn (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44150) - you deserved it (3082)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

#21237898
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34846) - you deserved it (9905)

On 08/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14998) - you deserved it (71890)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35309) - you deserved it (5000)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (7811)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39759) - you deserved it (3265)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37431) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (31900)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (44961)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

#21234785
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (2968)

On 08/11/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by welptimetoburntheplacedown (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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