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Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

#21325373
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (4237)

On 12/27/2014 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I've spent far too long on hold to Apple customer support. Unfortunately the only thing to come from it is I now have "Call me maybe" stuck in my head. FML

#21325140
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24791) - you deserved it (2950)

On 12/27/2014 at 5:12am - misc - by still on hol - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was trying to show my family a cool website. Unfortunately my porn instincts kicked in and I started typing the URL of my favorite porn site. I couldn't stop myself before it autocompleted. FML

#21324815
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13707) - you deserved it (33878)

On 12/26/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to drive my husband to hospital after he tried to burn his pubes off with a lighter as part of a bet. On the upside, he probably won't be bugging me for sex for a while. On the downside, I'm married to a moron. FML

#21324724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (4858)

On 12/26/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by If IQs could be negative... (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML

Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

#21324456
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (2552)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16742) - you deserved it (47654)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML

#21324090
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a very drunk woman at the family Christmas party told me she felt terrible that I don't have a mother who cares about me. She is my mother. FML

#21324062
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31761) - you deserved it (2005)

On 12/25/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend's dad called to say she wasn't allowed to come with me on a three-day trip on New Year's. He waited until Christmas to say it, even though we booked and paid for the trip nearly a month ago. Now he ruined both holidays. FML

#21323987
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32714) - you deserved it (2752)

On 12/25/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by sneeuwbal - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, at Christmas dinner, my grandmother talked about the death of every single dog she ever had. All 10 of them. FML

#21323815
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29637) - you deserved it (2459)

On 12/25/2014 at 6:47am - misc - by dunn76 - United States

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29091) - you deserved it (3363)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States



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