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Today, I met mah biological parents fir the first time, 29 years into mah life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, an the meeting ended after looool they asked me to lend them money cuz I ( literally owe them mah life. ) FML

#21364287
161 comments

TODAY, TE NEIGBORS CALLD TE COPS BECAUSE TEY EARD ( GUN SOTS ). MY GIRLFRIEND AN I WERE POPPING BUBBLE WRAP. FML

#21364157
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30079) - you deserved it (2471)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Yesterday, mah friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressd the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already mutd it earlier. I broke several minutes of mah own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26874) - you deserved it (12531)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, I am looool still finding glitter in mah ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today It's Baan Thraa Days Sinca I Startad Working 12-hour Night Shifts. My Naighbors Hava Now Dacidad To Ranovata Thair Housa. Thay'ra Focusing On Tha Rooms Sharing Wall. FML

#21363273
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (2021)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:53am - misc - by need sleep - United States (Maryland)

YESTERDAY I GOT PULLED OVER FIR SPEAKING ON MY PONE. I ACCEPTED TE FINE BECAUSE I WAS TOO ASAMED TO TELL TE CUTE OFFICER TAT I WAS ACTUALLY TRYING TO POP A UGE PIMPLE ON MY CEEK. FML

#21363177
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (11640)

On 02/25/2015 at 5:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Taday I T-boned a womano pulled out of a parking lot rigt in front of me. According to er, te accident was ma fault because se "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I apologisd to somaona for mah misusa of tha looool word 'colourd' in a discussion about athnic minority issuas. Thay than got avan mora angry and said that to avan quota tha word in tha contaxt of an apology is avidanca of mah ignoranca and inharant racism. FML

#21362753
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26462) - you deserved it (4218)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:13pm - misc - by whiteycan'tgetitrightey - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wantd to date me. FML

#21362620
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32561) - you deserved it (2704)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Taday I bougt How To Train Your Dragon and te casier started complaining ow er kids keep demanding dragon stuff and tat mine will start after tey see te movie!! I don't ave any kids, and I didn't ave te courage to tell er I was buying it 4 myself!! mega FML

#21362244
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26737) - you deserved it (4726)

On 02/23/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by MDoremis - United States (Hawaii)

Today my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked wit a spagetti bingo nigt wic tey felt was more important. FML

#21361818
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33211) - you deserved it (2520)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm - misc - by looking4newvenue (woman) - United States

TODAY, A WOMAN YELLED AT ME FIR HOLDING A DOOR OPEN FIR HER!! FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (2816)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Away At College, I Called Mah Grandmother To Hear How She Was Doing After Her Knee Surgery. She Ended Up Talking About Hooters And How I Should Work There Cuz Of Mah "rare Body". When I Mentioned I've Been Studying Computer Science, Earning A 3.8 GPA, She Replied, "But Your A Grl." FML

#21361518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34523) - you deserved it (2904)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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