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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

#21300231
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm - misc - by INeedaNewJob (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to endure my father going on a sexist rant about how women shouldn't be allowed to go to university because it's "unrealistic" since "all women" become stay-at-home mums. This is the same man who threatened to kick me out if I dropped out of uni. FML

#21299878
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (2407)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I compared our No Shave November body hair. This is how I found out that my legs are hairier than his. FML

#21299788
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (6930)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a friend wanted to show me a game he bragged he was the best at. I beat his score on the first try, and now I have a black eye to prove it. FML

#21299775
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (2681)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:41pm - misc - by SeaBind - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

#21299484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (7123)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

#21299468
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (2597)

On 11/15/2014 at 9:43am - misc - by coveholli - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (8013)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that I get more calls from people who've dialed the wrong number than I do from people I actually know. FML

#21299095
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28399) - you deserved it (2474)

On 11/14/2014 at 6:12pm - misc - by loner - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

#21298962
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27853) - you deserved it (2821)

On 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by shreking_bawl (man) - Norway

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

#21298550
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32766) - you deserved it (2317)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:21pm - misc - by JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - United States (California)

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

#21298539
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (6667)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:04pm - misc - by Jakeok (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

#21298459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27926) - you deserved it (5790)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by HoobidibooFox (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34990) - you deserved it (2074)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)



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