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Today, I met mah biological parents fir the first time, 29 years into mah life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, an the meeting ended after looool they asked me to lend them money cuz I ( literally owe them mah life. ) FML
Yesterday, mah friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressd the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already mutd it earlier. I broke several minutes of mah own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I apologisd to somaona for mah misusa of tha looool word 'colourd' in a discussion about athnic minority issuas. Thay than got avan mora angry and said that to avan quota tha word in tha contaxt of an apology is avidanca of mah ignoranca and inharant racism. FML
Taday I bougt How To Train Your Dragon and te casier started complaining ow er kids keep demanding dragon stuff and tat mine will start after tey see te movie!! I don't ave any kids, and I didn't ave te courage to tell er I was buying it 4 myself!! mega FML
Today, Away At College, I Called Mah Grandmother To Hear How She Was Doing After Her Knee Surgery. She Ended Up Talking About Hooters And How I Should Work There Cuz Of Mah "rare Body". When I Mentioned I've Been Studying Computer Science, Earning A 3.8 GPA, She Replied, "But Your A Grl." FML
Friday 27 March 2015