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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

#18036
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39478) - you deserved it (4326)

On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a cute new striped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML

#17532
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31546) - you deserved it (4139)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by alie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

#17496
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77954) - you deserved it (4739)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:32pm - misc - by Sal (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told the man I'm sleeping with I thought my sister was prettier than me. His response: "not significantly." FML

#17490
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14648) - you deserved it (25783)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by xyz (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (5100)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML

#17181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40227) - you deserved it (4474)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by Nator (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I learnt that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML

#16995
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6713) - you deserved it (37509)

On 02/09/2009 at 4:21am - misc - by adrenochrome (woman) - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

#16441
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45808) - you deserved it (8058)

On 02/09/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML

#16292
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62364) - you deserved it (4181)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

#16023
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (1929)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by seb21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I looked at the facebook of the girl I really liked, and I saw she wrote on her friend's wall "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML

#15703
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47321) - you deserved it (4193)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by YeahWhatOkay (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (5245)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML



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