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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML

#1516
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22467) - you deserved it (1970)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I posted a question on a forum asking if my week old nipple piercing would get hooked on anything easily. People assured me that it would be fine. An hour later I had to climb over a wall to get something and in lowering myself down I forgot about it and dragged my nipple along the wall. FML

#1510
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6473) - you deserved it (23502)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:48pm - misc - by jdot747 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

#1499
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18832) - you deserved it (1719)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13606) - you deserved it (2986)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

#1487
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10633) - you deserved it (39416)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)

Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

#1483
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11081) - you deserved it (21334)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by ishweta56 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I printed my 10 page econometrics problem set questions out on $15/100 sheet ivory resume paper that I'd accidentally left in the paper tray on my printer. It turned out to be the wrong assignment. FML

#1482
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7197) - you deserved it (13951)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Nathan - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

#1452
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18278) - you deserved it (1504)

On 01/17/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by millzee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in class, I volunteered to read a poem out loud. I accidentally said "circumcised" instead of "circumscribed". I don't think I"ll be volunteering to read anything more. FML

#1446
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14900) - you deserved it (3842)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by EpicFail - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML

#1439
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14300) - you deserved it (4381)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by BobbyMalone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21603) - you deserved it (2056)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML

#1399
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8711) - you deserved it (38817)

On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19289) - you deserved it (9029)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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