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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

#2132
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4434) - you deserved it (26953)

On 01/22/2009 at 2:02am - misc - by JBone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18661) - you deserved it (3497)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9381) - you deserved it (31135)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, my study partner for my biology class didn't go to lecture. Not once has he gone to lecture. I went to almost every lecture. He got better grades than I did. FML

#2101
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19885) - you deserved it (3267)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by noodle - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

#2059
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16642) - you deserved it (4090)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Ella - United States (California)

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

#1975
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (2002)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up with a hangover, but went to school anyway without showering, applying makeup, and still wearing my pajama bottoms. While taking the subway, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen a year. His new girlfriend looked at me and said, "You look... tired." FML

#1930
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (18592)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by babygurl69 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

#1926
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10304) - you deserved it (18995)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by crystalwho - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

#1823
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13156) - you deserved it (4978)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by JackAttack - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML

#1820
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (3605)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Kika - Sent from mobile version

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

#1817
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (5662)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML

#1815
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7642) - you deserved it (18193)

On 01/20/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Petridishoflove - Hong Kong

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (1655)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



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