Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

#18252
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13294) - you deserved it (148248)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

#18236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32712) - you deserved it (12577)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by hatethatiloveyou (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (2924)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)

Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML

#18109
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36038) - you deserved it (4327)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by a manly woman? (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

#18079
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37353) - you deserved it (4050)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and said I was not 'Christian enough' for her. Later I found out she had been cheating on me with my best friend. FML

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

#18036
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39474) - you deserved it (4325)

On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a cute new striped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML

#17532
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31543) - you deserved it (4139)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by alie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

#17496
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77950) - you deserved it (4738)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:32pm - misc - by Sal (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told the man I'm sleeping with I thought my sister was prettier than me. His response: "not significantly." FML

#17490
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14647) - you deserved it (25783)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by xyz (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (5100)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML

#17181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40221) - you deserved it (4473)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by Nator (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I learnt that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML

#16995
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6710) - you deserved it (37508)

On 02/09/2009 at 4:21am - misc - by adrenochrome (woman) - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)



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