Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I figured out that my baby-powder container can be closed by twisting the cap. I just got back from a long trip. My suitcase used to be black. FML

#2463
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5438) - you deserved it (19708)

On 01/24/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by yacoob - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (1630)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

#2424
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16034) - you deserved it (2073)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when i'm drunk. I asked, "what about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

#2422
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17788) - you deserved it (3158)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by the-yao - United States (California)

Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML

#2406
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35953) - you deserved it (23624)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by David3000 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

#2379
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (1876)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you deserved it (3783)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML

#2319
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18481) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by blahmina - United States (California)

Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML

#2294
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5171) - you deserved it (19105)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Moe - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

#2289
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (1929)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:36am - misc - by Spanky - United States (Michigan)

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

#2285
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18377) - you deserved it (4370)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by ohn0es - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

#2247
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13219) - you deserved it (2066)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7404) - you deserved it (26181)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)



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