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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17764) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

#1649
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4905) - you deserved it (18001)

On 01/18/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Colleen - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom gave me and my brothers each a cd of her recent photoshoot for her book. I found out later that my mom didn't know how to burn only SOME of the photos on the CD, and ended up burning all of the photos onto the CD. Some of the photos were provocative. FML

#1617
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17395) - you deserved it (1604)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by scarred4life - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

#1615
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18872) - you deserved it (2243)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by steveinnewsoh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

#1542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22077) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

#1541
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19252) - you deserved it (3462)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

#1529
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19970) - you deserved it (7741)

On 01/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by zuut - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in a toilet cubicle, when I overheard two of my friends at the sink talking about how ugly and skinny I was. FML

#1516
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22464) - you deserved it (1970)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by Youknowwho - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I posted a question on a forum asking if my week old nipple piercing would get hooked on anything easily. People assured me that it would be fine. An hour later I had to climb over a wall to get something and in lowering myself down I forgot about it and dragged my nipple along the wall. FML

#1510
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6473) - you deserved it (23502)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:48pm - misc - by jdot747 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

#1499
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18826) - you deserved it (1719)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13605) - you deserved it (2985)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)

Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML

#1487
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10633) - you deserved it (39420)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by none - United States (New Jersey)

Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

#1483
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11083) - you deserved it (21334)

On 01/17/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by ishweta56 - United States (New Jersey)



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