Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

#197015
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71187) - you deserved it (3625)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by joAnne (woman) - United States

Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregant, she replied by saying "is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML

#196534
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45703) - you deserved it (16630)

On 03/03/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by booyouwhoree (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time in a few months. Once she finished, she handed me the mirror and asked, "How does it feel to look human again?" FML

#194901
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43884) - you deserved it (11371)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by bluedevil26 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

#194892
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7930) - you deserved it (86708)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

#194587
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74039) - you deserved it (20850)

On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

#193845
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (11705)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

#192617
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43207) - you deserved it (5401)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by lucy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paper work. Later, she asks me, "What does Caucasian mean?". I ask, "Why?". Apparently she didn't recognize the word so she checked "other" and wrote in "white". FML

#192383
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46329) - you deserved it (4900)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by buryuntime (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a call from my friend who invited me to a theme party. It was a goth theme, and I decided to get real into it. I put on a trench coat, black skin tight pants, and black paint under the eyes. When I got there I was greeted by a kid in a pink popped collar. It wasn't a theme party. FML

#190335
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43288) - you deserved it (6887)

On 03/02/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by nerd (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in the bank with my seven year old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML

#187755
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53149) - you deserved it (2334)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by lexibabe (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML

#187356
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46456) - you deserved it (14287)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

#186916
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (8807)

On 03/02/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML

#185358
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86336) - you deserved it (3897)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Illinois)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: