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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML

#109739
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9602) - you deserved it (50095)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:09pm - misc - by Sh.H (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML

#109688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53748) - you deserved it (3304)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by jet8725 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84479) - you deserved it (5639)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML

#108416
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47059) - you deserved it (15357)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by j0hn (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents met my boyfriends parents for the first time. Bailing us out of jail. FML

#108333
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14782) - you deserved it (56517)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by DB (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went round to my Grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my Grandparents' living room. FML

#106107
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (4177)

On 02/22/2009 at 5:55pm - misc - by Hello my name is (man) - United Kingdom

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

#104917
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41891) - you deserved it (4292)

On 02/22/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by JRock - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a party and all my friends started asking me ways they could leave so no one would notice because the party sucked. It was MY party. FML

#102896
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37262) - you deserved it (6812)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by SIK of everything (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

#102493
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you deserved it (6152)

On 02/22/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by highlycontagious - United States (Illinois)

Today, my Grandma was showing me an ancient family letter. It was apparently written by someone historically famous. She was going on about how important it was, in such good condition too, worth a lot. I dropped my glass of juice. It spilt all over it. FML

#101667
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18234) - you deserved it (42601)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by damn-it (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was happy because my exact shirt and sweater were in seventeen magazine. They were in the "what not to wear" category. FML

#101622
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34069) - you deserved it (12321)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by secenteenmagazine. - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

#100454
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10714) - you deserved it (29673)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

#99894
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50210) - you deserved it (5296)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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