Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went with my grandma to pickup my uncle and cousins from the airport. On our way there, the car died in the middle of the road. A police officer stopped to help us, he blocked the road while i pushed and my grandma steered. I had to push a minivan, I weigh 115 lbs. FML

#919886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43187) - you deserved it (5314)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by carpusher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so i said "yeah that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML

#919776
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20702) - you deserved it (39321)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by AlienZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

#919205
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43661) - you deserved it (5146)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

#916470
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16461) - you deserved it (82276)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169764) - you deserved it (8526)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

#915602
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17797) - you deserved it (53192)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by effingawwesome (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

#915391
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48526) - you deserved it (3210)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by RainyDay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML

#914875
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (13728)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by awesome (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

#912798
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9256) - you deserved it (81317)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

#911681
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32935) - you deserved it (41280)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

#910687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32789) - you deserved it (60836)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

#910360
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60738) - you deserved it (4830)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: