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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35315) - you deserved it (7574)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML

#4684
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11589) - you deserved it (21127)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by foo - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

#4679
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7577) - you deserved it (27328)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:45am - misc - by Miko - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

#4648
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6100) - you deserved it (17360)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by anaph0re - Sent from mobile version

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

#4487
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (1401)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by leez - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm 19, I'm at uni, I've never been kissed and the only person I have had a proper conversation with in the past week is my Mum. FML

#4477
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (4750)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:07am - misc - by geewhiz - United Kingdom (York)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9643) - you deserved it (32763)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (2608)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

#4288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13026) - you deserved it (22246)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by joe - United States (California)

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19003) - you deserved it (3192)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

#4243
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (2075)

On 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by toosmall - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7779) - you deserved it (31593)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

#4209
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19884) - you deserved it (6934)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by helloworld92 - United States (Ohio)



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