Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56735) - you deserved it (4756)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my friend who is in 'beauty school' do my hair. I now look like i have a mullet. What was supposed to be auburn highlights is now hot pink. I have a job interview in the morning. FML

#66787
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15455) - you deserved it (32340)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35am - misc - by asdf1851 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39331) - you deserved it (12499)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

#65383
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46319) - you deserved it (2736)

On 02/18/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by fuckthat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

#62325
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17513) - you deserved it (46173)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

#62239
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39877) - you deserved it (2672)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by morg2000 - Mexico

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

#61583
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41176) - you deserved it (2854)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - misc - by lene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18897) - you deserved it (29165)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (39234)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I spent $20 on a spray tan, $30 to have my make up done, and $50 on a pretty new dress all for a special date with my boyfriend. It turns out I spent $100 just to get dumped. FML

#60483
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41815) - you deserved it (7314)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by bertthelamb (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66159) - you deserved it (5142)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

#59474
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (38389)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML

#59071
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13046) - you deserved it (26488)

On 02/17/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by abbyleigh08 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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