Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

#4243
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (2074)

On 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by toosmall - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7771) - you deserved it (31571)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

#4209
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19347) - you deserved it (6828)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by helloworld92 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

#4206
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18598) - you deserved it (2700)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Lady of Sorrows - United States (Indiana)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28783) - you deserved it (4917)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

#4119
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (4774)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by fuckit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

#4028
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38089) - you deserved it (14022)

On 01/31/2009 at 8:51am - misc - by ayw329 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

#3934
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (1430)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

#3898
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26055) - you deserved it (1460)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by crakbbyaparently - United States (California)

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

#3797
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17851) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

#3715
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25809) - you deserved it (1691)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said "man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says "I'm a member of that church". OOPS. Silence. FML

#3651
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7716) - you deserved it (22780)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by pop_rox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

#3587
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19645) - you deserved it (6380)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: