Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realized that I know more about Paris Hilton's cervix than how my government is run. FML

#6894
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6437) - you deserved it (34686)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by parishiltonsbff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML

#6753
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5571) - you deserved it (63770)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by WestboroBC (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML

#6517
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6342) - you deserved it (45860)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by j0natron (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the only girl I'm friends with deleted my comment off of her profile because she was too embarrassed that people would see we were friends. FML

#6514
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35185) - you deserved it (2896)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by sh33zy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

#6511
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25439) - you deserved it (6899)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:25pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6918) - you deserved it (48106)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

#6154
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8095) - you deserved it (32044)

On 02/03/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by baller12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

#6027
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (1870)

On 02/03/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by Cob (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

#6002
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7710) - you deserved it (30285)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by fuckedalready (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

#5836
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18443) - you deserved it (13021)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

#5739
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (9907)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

#5419
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40726) - you deserved it (2278)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by asdf - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

#5105
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33152) - you deserved it (2583)

On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)



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