Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when i'm drunk. I asked, "what about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

#2422
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17160) - you deserved it (3093)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by the-yao - United States (California)

Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML

#2406
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35865) - you deserved it (23569)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by David3000 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

#2379
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20276) - you deserved it (1872)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25613) - you deserved it (3729)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML

#2319
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (1863)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by blahmina - United States (California)

Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML

#2294
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5149) - you deserved it (19045)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Moe - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

#2289
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (1925)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:36am - misc - by Spanky - United States (Michigan)

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

#2285
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18301) - you deserved it (4363)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by ohn0es - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

#2247
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13148) - you deserved it (2059)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7379) - you deserved it (26093)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21448) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

#2172
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13689) - you deserved it (25432)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:14am - misc - by insearch4i - United States (Arizona)

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

#2165
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5492) - you deserved it (31012)

On 01/22/2009 at 9:38am - misc - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)



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