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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

#37065
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12867) - you deserved it (30506)

On 02/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by The V Sal - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

#36818
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33979) - you deserved it (3175)

On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

#36219
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41594) - you deserved it (7583)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by shinoza (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I found a bone in my sandwich. It was a veggie burger. FML

#36182
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41507) - you deserved it (6947)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by veggiegal (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35285) - you deserved it (17988)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

#35910
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (34844)

On 02/13/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Kulcha (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML

#35844
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49213) - you deserved it (7087)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:57am - misc - by Yazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a new TV as a 10th anniversary present. She gave me a torch on a keyring. FML

#35828
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30914) - you deserved it (6162)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:46am - misc - by Tamps (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

#35674
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11973) - you deserved it (40428)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

#35636
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (7295)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by buster (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my mom how much she had set aside for college. She then looked and me as if I were crazy and said "Why the hell would I do anything like that?" FML

#34502
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37748) - you deserved it (3796)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Dariya (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

#34420
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12555) - you deserved it (42932)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

#34306
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34822) - you deserved it (7706)

On 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by yerface - United States (Texas)



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