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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I'm 19, I'm at uni, I've never been kissed and the only person I have had a proper conversation with in the past week is my Mum. FML

#4477
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24688) - you deserved it (4708)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:07am - misc - by geewhiz - United Kingdom (York)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9612) - you deserved it (32676)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23869) - you deserved it (2604)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

#4288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (22186)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by joe - United States (California)

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18440) - you deserved it (3104)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

#4243
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26708) - you deserved it (2069)

On 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by toosmall - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7745) - you deserved it (31487)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

#4209
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19298) - you deserved it (6820)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by helloworld92 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

#4206
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18554) - you deserved it (2697)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Lady of Sorrows - United States (Indiana)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (4911)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

#4119
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (4767)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by fuckit - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

#4028
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37830) - you deserved it (13909)

On 01/31/2009 at 8:51am - misc - by ayw329 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

#3934
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (1429)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)



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