Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

#62239
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39820) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by morg2000 - Mexico

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

#61583
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41127) - you deserved it (2851)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - misc - by lene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18410) - you deserved it (28488)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10112) - you deserved it (39191)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I spent $20 on a spray tan, $30 to have my make up done, and $50 on a pretty new dress all for a special date with my boyfriend. It turns out I spent $100 just to get dumped. FML

#60483
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41745) - you deserved it (7305)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by bertthelamb (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66064) - you deserved it (5137)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

#59474
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10043) - you deserved it (38070)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML

#59071
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13008) - you deserved it (26449)

On 02/17/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by abbyleigh08 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a couple videos of me playing guitar and singing some of my favorite songs. I arrived back from school to find my family huddled around the cam-corder laughing, imitating, and making jokes about the video. FML

#58147
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30768) - you deserved it (7959)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by SADlilAZN (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9297) - you deserved it (61183)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was complaining to my mom about how my sister looked like a barbie doll next to me. I was saying how she was so tan and her hair looked awesome next to mine. She paused for a while and then said "Well you're pretty on the inside." FML

#55287
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31612) - you deserved it (7824)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Dasani (woman) - United States (California)

Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML

#54782
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66504) - you deserved it (3541)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Elmo - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. Everything from the last 3 years. EV-ER-Y-THING. FML

#54626
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14273) - you deserved it (51133)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by loserman - United States (California)



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