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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was a host during kids' event. I did my job and started to do some funny moves to entertain the kids. I was wearing a top with a really low cut. Then noticed that all the children were pointing at me happily and adults looked surprised. Then I noticed that both my boobs had popped out. FML

#46183
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10470) - you deserved it (51117)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by Nastiaa (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

#46151
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7387) - you deserved it (64429)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accompanied some friends to sign up for a gym. When we got there, the guy handed me a form, too. I said, "Oh, I'm not signing up." He replied, "Out of all of you, you need it the most." He then said he was also a nutritionist, and offered a consultation. FML

#46035
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (9784)

On 02/15/2009 at 8:56am - misc - by charpanda007 (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I ran over a beer bottle which popped my car tire, which then caused me to swerve into a police cruiser. FML

#46008
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55087) - you deserved it (3772)

On 02/15/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by andjusticeforall (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "maybe he left you for someone else." FML

#45956
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40771) - you deserved it (1996)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:51am - misc - by too bad so sad (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40509) - you deserved it (5663)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

#45910
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14712) - you deserved it (79251)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by Mofisto (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

#45902
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37182) - you deserved it (2539)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:32am - misc - by lamesauce (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I called my grandmother to wish her a happy Valentines Day. She asked me if I had a date lined up. I didn't, and before I could explain why, she responded with, "Well, maybe all the other gays went on vacation!" Thanks Grandma, I'm not gay. FML

#45880
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39643) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by kolgate (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

#45766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9717) - you deserved it (37833)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by gregoyles (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML

#45177
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32469) - you deserved it (4426)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Salaryman (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I spent 2 minutes struggling to cork a wine bottle for one of my tables only to have them eventually point out to me that the bottle was a twist-off. FML

#45104
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7194) - you deserved it (28765)

On 02/15/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by sillybrohos (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML

#45051
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (8779)

On 02/15/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by loueb17 - United States (Arizona)



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