Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

#886706
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62729) - you deserved it (3154)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML

#884273
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62858) - you deserved it (4122)

On 04/09/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by sheryl_m (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and lead the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML

#883933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49493) - you deserved it (4310)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by luh8r (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the orthodontist. As the lady was clipping my brackets, she missed and clipped my gums instead. She looked at me and said, "Oh sorry, you're bleeding really badly. See, I got these fake nails put on and I guess I'm just not used to them. Let me try again." She missed. FML

#883158
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76074) - you deserved it (2735)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:33am - misc - by BracesSuck (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said "Mabye you should try our girls section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML

#882840
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53015) - you deserved it (4470)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by blahhhh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

#882663
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51536) - you deserved it (10619)

On 04/09/2009 at 5:16am - misc - by atang (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full" He's the owner of the shop. FML

#883621
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11361) - you deserved it (71640)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:40am - misc - by oopsiecoffee (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my step-mother threw a surprise party on my acceptance to college. People kept telling me how delightfully shocked and happy they are for me. "UPenn" was written everywhere, when I really got into Penn State. Everyone thinks I'm going to an Ivy League. FML

#881637
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53122) - you deserved it (4764)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by LindsayK (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my sister's wedding cake. It was a nice day, the shop was close, and the cake wasn't too big so I walked. On my way back, I stepped aside for a kid on a bike, tripped over my shoelaces, and dumped my sister's expensive, custom-designed cake. The wedding is tomorrow. FML

#880602
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47437) - you deserved it (36931)

On 04/09/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by LonnyLonnikins (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going running. It was an especially windy day and things were flying through the wind. Apparently, bodily fluid can also fly through the wind. Turns out, a women was barfing over a bridge and the wind caught it and it flew through the air. Right into my face and body. FML

#879830
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77421) - you deserved it (3298)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by fedlife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the train, I got excited when I suddenly noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from a boy I liked. With a grin on my face, I told my friend. My dad overheard and said, "oh sweetie, he probably had the wrong number." The voicemail was blank. I texted him. The call was an accident. FML

#878620
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51045) - you deserved it (4014)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:35pm - misc - by lyssanthamum - United States (New York)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66688) - you deserved it (11226)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

#873540
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16218) - you deserved it (76410)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: