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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93147) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met a guy who said he thinks he's in love with my sister. As a joke, I told him that my sister cheats on everyone. I get home to find my sister crying, because some 'person' told her boyfriend that she's cheating on him. FML

#20165
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7028) - you deserved it (58009)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by imwrong (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, on the crowded train, a cute guy called me over and told me to stand next to him because there were less people there. We started talking, but he left before I could get his number. Just when I was about to tell my friends about it, I find out that he stole my phone. FML

#20147
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33310) - you deserved it (5006)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:30am - misc - by touched (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, a customer at one of my tables left his phone number and a smiley face on the credit card slip. I was completely flattered until I looked at the bottom of the slip and realized that he had left me a $0.26 tip. FML

#19721
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (2515)

On 02/10/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by appleville (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

#19641
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9164) - you deserved it (38750)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

#19635
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (2301)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear ending the person in front of me. FML

#19361
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6228) - you deserved it (48238)

On 02/09/2009 at 11:54pm - misc - by prettyinpurple - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

#19088
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37192) - you deserved it (15020)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML

#18530
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17261) - you deserved it (37015)

On 02/09/2009 at 8:50pm - misc - by Ab (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally reunited with a lot of old friends from school. It was great to see everyone grown up and hear the stories. At the end we decided to have a group photo for old times sake. They asked me to take the picture. FML

#18256
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40619) - you deserved it (2165)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by p00p_m0nsta (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

#18252
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13211) - you deserved it (147039)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

#18236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (12540)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by hatethatiloveyou (woman) - United States (Florida)



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