Today, I used my Christmas holiday time to open up a load of old letters. There were a lot of bills, of course, but there was also a note telling me that I'm due for a tax inspection. Merry F*ing Christmas! FML

by TodX / 12/27/2008 at 3:23am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

by noname / 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

by poupi / 12/25/2008 at 7:57am / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

by Phil / 12/21/2008 at 7:14am / Miscellaneous

Today, I played a table tennis final in public. After winning, I went to shake my opponent's hand. He doesn't react or move. It was only the first set. FML

by Bito / 12/21/2008 at 2:00am / Miscellaneous

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

by Loola / 12/21/2008 at 12:04am / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. It's 6.30 pm. I'm still the only person aware of what day it is. FML

by poorgary / 12/18/2008 at 6:46am / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

by Wickls / 12/18/2008 at 3:30am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

by kisyfrot / 12/17/2008 at 10:38pm / Miscellaneous

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

by Melie-Melo / 12/16/2008 at 2:55am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

by Dr_JF / 12/15/2008 at 2:11am / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

by bip / 12/15/2008 at 12:36am / Miscellaneous

Today, I aimed at the little blue thing placed at the bottom of the urinal. I learned the hard way that it splashes off it and makes little blue stains on jumpers. FML

by Guuu / 12/14/2008 at 6:31am / Miscellaneous