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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

#1952694
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9411) - you deserved it (69389)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by OuttaNowhere81 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML

#1936561
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46512) - you deserved it (3247)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized that the only human being I have talked to in the last three days is the guy at the drive thru. FML

#1933415
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44013) - you deserved it (15463)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by shrimp41 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ordered a graduation cake from a woman at the grocery store. She asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I said "Congratulations Annie". Then she asked me who was ordering and I said "Annie". I had to order my own cake. The woman was silent. FML

#1930906
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49973) - you deserved it (6367)

On 05/14/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Annebelle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (382791) - you deserved it (19765)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML

#1926739
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62400) - you deserved it (2614)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by Hank (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML

#1923486
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64014) - you deserved it (14402)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by peoplesuck (man) - United States

Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML

#1922061
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38705) - you deserved it (4876)

On 05/14/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Badnewca (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML

#1916731
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55451) - you deserved it (4855)

On 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by NoComparison (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML

#1912773
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8366) - you deserved it (86970)

On 05/13/2009 at 7:26pm - misc - by rackman007 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

#1909780
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49402) - you deserved it (35552)

On 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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