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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today... my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs an a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. fat FML

#903514
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16275) - you deserved it (45017)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I Walked Over To Join A Group Of Friends And Heard Them Talking About How Hot Some Guy Was But How Ugly His Sister Was. I Askedho They Were Talking About And There Was An Awkward Silence, They Hadn't Realized I Was There. Apparently, They Were Talking About Brother. Fat FML

#902555
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50349) - you deserved it (2885)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by ellarose - United States (Maryland)

Today I was sitting in mah chemistry classhen a sick girl behind me askd "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher bieng smart said "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile the girl behind me startd throwing up all over her desk an me . FML

#901011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65696) - you deserved it (3265)

On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

yesterday I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited 4 over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there 4 such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

#900061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10900) - you deserved it (53448)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mah mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he askd me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life dependd on it. Turns out mah mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (38927)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today , I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything , I even vacuumd the stairs. As they pulld up , I noticd all of the trash bags filld with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

#898279
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7787) - you deserved it (73729)

On 04/10/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by blah (man) - United States (Idaho)

yesterday I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at ome, wen I went to get off, my sort got stuck under te seat. I dangled alf upside down until my sort ripped an I fell on te ground face first breaking my front toot. I broke my toot riding a bike tat doesn’t even move. FML

#897879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55870) - you deserved it (8805)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Yesterday I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back the only positive comment on the paper was ( well I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together. ) FML

#897459
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50889) - you deserved it (4850)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by Kim (woman) - United States

Taday while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw there car door open and hit the side of mah brand new car 4 the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told mah manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit mah car again, smiling. mega FML

#897353
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82971) - you deserved it (3426)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

TODAY , MA YOUNGER BROTER WATCD AN OLD MUSIC VIDEO OF TE WO,O ARE KNOW 4 SMASING UP TEIR GUITARS AND SUC!! HE DECIDD IT WOULD BE COOL TO TRY IT WIT MINE!! TAT GUITAR WAS WORT OVER $3000!! FML

#894121
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78802) - you deserved it (4118)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:43pm - misc - by FML4evs (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a professional baseball game. In the 5th inning, our row was chosen fir a random giveaway where everyone sitting in the row recievd free roundtrip airline tickets to New York City. While this was going on, I was up, getting a pretzel. FML

Today, I was selling cookie doug 4 a fund raiser at an old folks ome. One lady orderd a box and told me tat se lovd cookie doug. I told er it'd be ere in 4 weeks, se said ( O I can't wait! ). Not really tinking, as I left I said, ( I ope you can make it till ten! ). FML

#891660
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10477) - you deserved it (61649)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by phatkroger10 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I Told Mah Ex Boyfriend I Lost 20 Lbs Because Of The Stress Of The Break Up. His Response Was "you're Welcome." FML

#889567
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50542) - you deserved it (25560)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States



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