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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

#51436
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (9296)

On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cig-bud out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML

#51182
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10958) - you deserved it (152855)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Dani_Rich - United States (California)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46795) - you deserved it (3102)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

#50610
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13977) - you deserved it (26806)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by thedullard (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

#48184
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60026) - you deserved it (3289)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by blah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

#47954
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (44909)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

#47156
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35554) - you deserved it (4931)

On 02/15/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was a host during kids' event. I did my job and started to do some funny moves to entertain the kids. I was wearing a top with a really low cut. Then noticed that all the children were pointing at me happily and adults looked surprised. Then I noticed that both my boobs had popped out. FML

#46183
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10460) - you deserved it (51073)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by Nastiaa (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

#46151
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7384) - you deserved it (64390)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accompanied some friends to sign up for a gym. When we got there, the guy handed me a form, too. I said, "Oh, I'm not signing up." He replied, "Out of all of you, you need it the most." He then said he was also a nutritionist, and offered a consultation. FML

#46035
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (9782)

On 02/15/2009 at 8:56am - misc - by charpanda007 (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I ran over a beer bottle which popped my car tire, which then caused me to swerve into a police cruiser. FML

#46008
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55055) - you deserved it (3772)

On 02/15/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by andjusticeforall (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "maybe he left you for someone else." FML

#45956
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40744) - you deserved it (1996)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:51am - misc - by too bad so sad (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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