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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had a job interview at a restauraunt opening up. One manager hypothetically asked me why I should be hired. I said I was more efficient than most. I left to find I'd locked my keys in the car. It took all the managers to help me get my keys out. FML

#100454
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10679) - you deserved it (29591)

On 02/21/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by FailAtLife - United States (Illinois)

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

#99894
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49182) - you deserved it (5185)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother told me she was going out of town this weekend. I re-assured her that I would not throw a party. She replied "Oh, like you have enough friends to do that." FML

#98981
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41658) - you deserved it (3732)

On 02/21/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by stinker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

#98260
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68206) - you deserved it (2871)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:37pm - misc - by well then... (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

#98125
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37787) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by taperjeangirl - United States (Washington)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14346) - you deserved it (60309)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

#95150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12864) - you deserved it (30119)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by story of my life. - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I think teddy bears are THE most pointless and careless gift. He shyly gave me my birthday present afterwards. It was a carebear. FML

#94960
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9040) - you deserved it (59275)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by eejit (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

#94383
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9683) - you deserved it (51313)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16635) - you deserved it (23707)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got to Costa Rica for my first vacation in five years. I immediately rented a scooter for the week after checking into my prepaid, no refunds, hotel. On the way back from the rental agency I hit a pothole and broke my leg and ripped the skin off my foot. I'm flying home tomorrow. FML

#91860
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41199) - you deserved it (3446)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Dale (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

#90535
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40225) - you deserved it (6149)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:13pm - misc - by niabby - United States (Illinois)



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