Today, I made some popcorn. Returning to the kitchen a couple of minutes later, I realized I was supposed to put a cover on the saucepan. FML

by csully / 01/10/2009 at 1:34am / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find that the large container of leftover beef stroganoff that I put down the garbage disposal last night had backed up into my bathtub this morning. FML

by Noname / 01/09/2009 at 6:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the UK for the first time, and had the most amazing time with my girlfriend, catching it all on tape. When I got back to South America, I realized someone had stolen my camera. FML

by Wex / 01/09/2009 at 4:02am / Chile (Antofagasta) / Miscellaneous

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

by Noname / 01/09/2009 at 12:18am / Miscellaneous

Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML

by sampaloompy / 01/08/2009 at 3:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

by bex / 01/07/2009 at 10:42am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

by noname / 01/07/2009 at 6:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

by maaaryy / 01/07/2009 at 12:53am / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5am, and the party was over. FML

by takeiteasy / 01/06/2009 at 10:58pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

by Fred / 01/06/2009 at 3:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, I lent my brand new earrings to one of my friends. Everyone told her that they are pretty, and look really great on her. I've been wearing them for the last 3 weeks, and no one has ever mentioned them. FML

by sel2207 / 01/05/2009 at 10:27pm / Miscellaneous

Today, at the supermarket everybody was staring at me. After ten minutes, I realized that my umbrella was still open. FML

by didi / 01/05/2009 at 5:45am / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm 20 years old and never been kissed. FML

by / 01/04/2009 at 10:18am / Miscellaneous