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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheatd an still got a 70. FML

#951533
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15623) - you deserved it (73253)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)

TODAY , HALF ASLEEP , I DROPPED PILL BEFORE I COULD TAKE IT. I QUICKLY PICKED IT UP AND WASHED IT DOWN. FIVE HOURS LATER , I JUST FOUND PILL ON THE GROUND. WHAT DID I SWALLOW? REAL FML

#948871
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99401) - you deserved it (23190)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the gym that I just became a member of, making an extra effort to look good cuz I've heard there are hot guys there. The lady at the front desk said they need to take my picture, then took a second look and said, "Don't worry hun, we'll take it when you're more prepared." FML

#948572
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51106) - you deserved it (5496)

On 04/13/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by ididlookgood (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I calld favorite radio station over an over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding thumb over the button to quickly hang up an re-dial if busy. I finally got through an they congratulatd me bieng the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML

Today, I drove 9 hours an took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom an Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML

#945655
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71487) - you deserved it (13277)

On 04/13/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by traveller (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today , I won 20 dollar on a lotto scratch off!! My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral 4 the gas money used to get us there!! He then uses his 10 dollar on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars!! The jackas wouldnt split it!! FML

#945188
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111274) - you deserved it (16409)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States

Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, an I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents looool had been on a camping trip the week before. FML

#943953
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65955) - you deserved it (3767)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by TrueStories (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I SAW MAH FRIENDS TALKING ABOUT PLANS FIR LATER DURING LUNCH. I WALKED OVER AN ASKED FIR THE PLAN. MY BEST FRIEND OF 12 YERES GENTLY TOOK ME ASIDE, AN SAID "YOU KNOW THAT PERSON IN EACH GROUP OF FRIENDS THAT IS ONLY AROUND TO BE MADE FUN OF? THAT'S YOU." I JUST GOT DUMPED BY MAH FRIENDS. MEGA FML

#942403
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72970) - you deserved it (4355)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by LeftOut (man) - United States (California)

Today... mah boyfriend asked mehen mah face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having mah wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. big fat FML

#942012
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52260) - you deserved it (3274)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by fatface (woman) - United States (Texas)

I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushd me in the pool. When I got out, I pushd her in. She startd screaming, and I startd laughing cuz I thought she was pissd that I pushd her in. That wasn't y she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessd it. FML

#937193
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49255) - you deserved it (19011)

On 04/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by imbx (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on mah laptop!! I unpaused to find mah character and mah boyfriend's were no longer together!! Slightly confused, I went on to find the note mah boyfriend left!! It said, "I hope u can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game!! FML

#927368
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82936) - you deserved it (5246)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, It Was Easter An I Thought It Might Be Fun To Look Fir Eggs With Mah Little Brother. My Parents Told Me To Take The Ones In The Higher Places That Mah Brother Couldn't Reach. All Of His Eggs Were Filld With Candy Or Money. Each One Of Mine Had A Note Saying 'maybe When You Lose Weight'. FML

#925174
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69686) - you deserved it (8905)

On 04/12/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , fir Easter , mah brother and sister both got $200 gifts from mah parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. mega FML

#924153
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132661) - you deserved it (6826)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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