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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML

#153350
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56135) - you deserved it (4558)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I wore out the highest heels I had but was nervous about falling because I am such a klutz. I got through the night without any injuries, so I changed into the sneakers I had brought with me to walk home. I tripped right outside my house in my sneakers and broke my ankle. FML

#153309
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51147) - you deserved it (5340)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by klutz - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

#152949
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98791) - you deserved it (10691)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21548) - you deserved it (61473)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family was leaving for a weekend trip and was supposed to pick me up on the way down. About an hour before they are supposed to arrive my mom calls to tell me that there's no room left in the car so they won't be stopping to get me. FML

#152487
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47465) - you deserved it (1853)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by leftbehind - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML

#152273
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45162) - you deserved it (13585)

On 02/27/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by wwasmer (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

#151604
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42959) - you deserved it (13448)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ackbar (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

#150971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12254) - you deserved it (68655)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17413) - you deserved it (48068)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

#145421
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17782) - you deserved it (50062)

On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

#144886
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10708) - you deserved it (71770)

On 02/26/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by belladonna (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML

#142298
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15748) - you deserved it (49651)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by River (woman) - United States (Delaware)



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