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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

#2042132
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39972) - you deserved it (22688)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16795) - you deserved it (53744)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

#2039124
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you deserved it (2434)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

#2037920
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49721) - you deserved it (10030)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML

#2036328
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (2892)

On 05/17/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by gameguy3424 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

#2028672
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you deserved it (33193)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by Richocet - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
656 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (284387)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

#2019418
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62569) - you deserved it (9048)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

#2018927
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13656) - you deserved it (96686)

On 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spilt boiling tea all over my stomach and left leg, so I went to the hospital to get it checked out. They said I wouldn't be able to expose it to the sun for the next two months. I'm going to Barbados tomorrow. FML

#2014797
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59080) - you deserved it (7201)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by _dopey_ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML

#2010673
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12720) - you deserved it (50467)

On 05/17/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Kerrilyn (woman) - United States

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58092) - you deserved it (21698)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went shopping with my sister. Looking for something to say, I told her how one of my friends had been burgled. Then I realised it was Bree on Desperate Housewives. FML

#2010345
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15827) - you deserved it (56146)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)



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