Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML

#2319
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14371) - you deserved it (1567)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by blahmina - United States (California)

Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML

#2294
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4326) - you deserved it (16786)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Moe - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

#2289
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16479) - you deserved it (1621)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:36am - misc - by Spanky - United States (Michigan)

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

#2285
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16642) - you deserved it (4138)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by ohn0es - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

#2247
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9918) - you deserved it (1562)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6029) - you deserved it (22516)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19403) - you deserved it (2172)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got bored and decided to try World Of Warcraft. FML

#2172
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12729) - you deserved it (23800)

On 01/22/2009 at 10:14am - misc - by insearch4i - United States (Arizona)

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

#2165
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4191) - you deserved it (25870)

On 01/22/2009 at 9:38am - misc - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove to my university to pick up forms and books. When I parked at 2:58 there was 30 mins on the meter. I returned at 3:32 only to find a parking ticket issued at 3:31. The worst part is, the books were not available until next week and I could've got the forms online. FML

#2149
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14436) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by unifail - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

#2132
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2704) - you deserved it (18350)

On 01/22/2009 at 2:02am - misc - by JBone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (2497)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8824) - you deserved it (29411)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: