Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

by why... / 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

by frankrizzo / 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm a shy guy normally, and when I talk to my friends I don't keep eye contact so I always look down even when I'm listening. My friend asked me why I always look at her boobs. FML

by foo / 02/01/2009 at 11:48am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

by Miko / 02/01/2009 at 11:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

by anaph0re / 02/01/2009 at 10:52am / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

by leez / 02/01/2009 at 5:43am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

by lousy / 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

by toosmall / 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

by losingstreak / 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

by Lady of Sorrows / 01/31/2009 at 3:26pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

by Lars / 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

by fuckit / 01/31/2009 at 12:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

by ayw329 / 01/31/2009 at 8:51am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous